Amazing Race
You've Just Made Me A Millionaire

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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United, We Fly Standby

VAAAAAAAN! (Now, whatever I say here about the crowd reaction upon seeing the van drive into this shot will be inadequate. "Apeshit" is woefully, horribly inadequate.)

The awesome music swells, and Phil looks on as Chip and Kim jump out of their cab. "You made me a millionaire," Chip says as he pays his driver. (Crowd: "SHUUUT UUUP AAAND RUUUUUUUUN!") He and Kim run toward the finish line. They throw down their packs as they approach. Breathlessly, Kim says, "Hold my hand," and Chip does. And that was where I, um, choked up a little bit when I was writing the recap. Damn. That will not do at all, reputation-wise. They run the gauntlet of departed teams, and they jump onto the red mat. (And Play By Play at Madison Square Garden implodes from noise.) "Six continents, eleven countries, 72,000 miles," Phil says. "Chip and Kim, you are the official winners of The Amazing Race." They hug. Phil mentions the million bucks they just won, and Chip picks Phil right up off the mat. Hee. Don't hurt Phil! And then Chip turns around and calls out, "Come here, twins!" Hee hee! The Twinkies run up to give the big love.

Phil asks Chip to talk about Kim. "For me to be able to have my soulmate that I...that I love...my best friend...and she's fine, too!" HA! So sweet. Chip says they tell their kids they can do anything. Kim says she's only sad that it's over. She proclaims her love for the experience, and for the other teams.

Oh, look. Colin and Christie. Try not to gloat. Welcome, you came in second. Which is only one position less than first. Phil compliments them on how competitive they were, and invites Colin again to discuss Christie. He tears up talking about how much he loves her, and talks about how much Chip and Kim deserve the victory. And then there's hugging, even though I suspect Christie still hates Chip and Kim. Colin gives a great interview in which he talks about how much he loved being nearly arrested in so many different countries. (Well, that's sort of what he says. I'm expanding on it a little bit.) Christie talks about how much she loves Colin, he talks about how much he loves her, blah dee blah. They're engaged now, you know. So you can't date either of them. Sob!

And here come Brandon and Nicole. Blah blah blah, he loves her, she loves him, they both love God. They came in third.

And then there is indiscriminate hugging. And Chip and Kim interview about how they love each other even more now. Chip says that his best times are when Kim cries tears of joy. She says that this was their dream, and their destiny, and they did it. They certainly did. WOOOO! Man, I'm so happy. And relieved.

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Amazing Race

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