The Americans
The Americans

Episode Report Card
Joe R: B- | 421 USERS: B+
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"I'm Afraid of Americans"

A bit later, the Jenningses pay a visit to the new neighbors, brownies in hand. I don't catch the wife's name, but she introduces her son Matthew, who is too floppy-haired and adorable not to be mixed up with Paige at some point in a storyline no one will care about. Elizabeth does that mom thing where she volunteers her son to come over all day tomorrow to help out around the house. Moms, cut that shit out. The patriarch of the new family, of course, turns out to be Stan Beeman, the FBI Agent. So of course there's this incredibly awkward conversation once Stan says where he works where Philip is like, "FBI! Like bank robbers?" And Stan's like, "No! Counterintelligence in fact." Philip: "Whoa! Like spies?" Stan: "Yes! Dirty awful spies!" Philip: "Uh oh! Better not do any spying that I totally don't do! Check out how at ease and good-humored I am about how little spying I do!" Stan: "You better not! Especially for those dirty awful Russians!" Philip: "Russian? I hardly even know 'em! What a bunch of worsts those Russians are!" Stan: "They certainly are! Care to join me out back to grill some burgers and take a lie-detector test?" The thought bubble above Elizabeth's head reading "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP" is practically visible.

After the break, Elizabeth and Philip convene back at home by the washer/dryers. She thinks it's just a coincidence. FBI agents have to live somewhere, after all. Philip offers the alternate hypothesis that the Feds are on to them. I would probably tend to side with Elizabeth here, if only because why would a counterintelligence agent put himself on blast like that to the spies he's investigating? But then Philip's argument to that would likely be that it's a tactic to make them THINK someone who's onto them wouldn't do that. And then it becomes a while Wallace Shawn-in-The Princess Bride-thing, where Philip clearly cannot choose the cup in front of himself OR Stan, unless he's spent the past 10 years building up an immunity to iocane powder, which I'd buy from Elizabeth, but not Philip. Philip thinks the Feds are trying to rattle them and make them do something stupid. Elizabeth figures that, either way, it means they kill Timoshev tonight. No loose ends. Philip thinks that's the last thing they want to do. Killing Timoshev means they have no options and no deals to make. He's still thinking about that deal. He pitches it to Elizabeth again, this time more earnestly. "Living the life we've been living, but just really living it." The disconnect here, obviously, is that Philip HAS been really living that life while Elizabeth hasn't at all. She has no interest in it or $3 million, a relocation and a brand new life with the kids. It's out of the question, as far as Elizabeth is concerned. She can't imagine betraying their country like that. "America's not so bad," is basically Philip's pitch. "What's so bad about America?" Elizabeth doesn't even get into that, since her mind won't go beyond betraying the Motherland. He brings up the kids again, giving them a better life. "Better because we'll have money," he says, which is as American as it gets. She asks him what they'd tell the kids. "The truth," he says. She slaps him instantaneously. "We swore we would never tell them," she says. They're out of bounds. He thinks the problem is that the kids will be Americans and she can't stand it. "I'm not finished with them," she says. "They don't have to be regular Americans. They can be socialists. They can be trade-union activists." It's the first sign of equivocation from Elizabeth and thus far it's the most interesting thing about her. "They're not going to be socialists," Philip tells her. "This place doesn't turn out socialists." The bigger truth, I think, is what Elizabeth says next: "If we tell them the truth, they would never speak to us again." Oh and besides, the Russians would track them down and kill them for their betrayal (see: Timoshev). Philip says they'd be more careful than Timoshev. He's thought this through. She can't deal and storms out.

The Americans

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