The next morning, Elizabeth's at her GIANT mailbox (like, seriously, that looks novelty-sized) and staring at the new neighbors moving in. Philip's taking the kids to the new mall, which Elizabeth isn't very interested in because malls = America = Elizabeth sneering at America. Paige, meanwhile, emerges from the house wearing a tank top and a jean skirt, to the concerned glance of her parents. Philip remembers Paige wearing a sweater with a bunny on it just last week. Elizabeth kind of rolls her eyes because teens in racy clothing = America = not Elizabeth's problem. The fashions on this show are actually not overtly 1981. When you think about how everybody looked in Argo, like wide-collar shirts had dive-bombed into everyone and realize that this show is taking place less than two years later, it feels like two different universes.

At the mall, Philip's shopping for boots or something (boots = quintessential American footwear = Philip's big embarrassing America-boner), but the more important thing is that Juice Newton's "Queen of Hearts" is playing on the PA system. Philip's eye catches this late-30s mook of a guy walking with his arms around this young teenage girl (she's dressed pretty '80s, with the exposed shoulders), squeezing her ass and instructing her how to best lie to her parents. This seems... over the top. Philip looks at them and then looks at his own daughter and makes the connection. Looks like somebody might be a Family Man first and a KGB operative second. Paige sweetly disapproves of her father's footwear interest, and then she gets appropriately mortified as he tries the boots on and starts line-dancing in front of the mirror, attracting attention. Speaking of attracting attention, while her father's off somewhere (presumably shopping for a bolo tie), tank-topped Paige attracts the attention of Statutory Ray, who practically sniffs at her he's so unsubtle. Hey man -- a little more discretion if you want to be a successful sex-slavery ring operator. Philip shows up in time to intervene, making sure to get a look at the dude's credit card and calling him out by name. "She's thirteen," Philip says, almost as if he's saying "Hey, go be predatory to those seventeen-year-olds at the food court." Statutory Ray is not cowed, however. "I don't know, Daddy," he growls, "she sure looks ready to me." Is this how people talked in 1981? Like they were in Roger Corman movies about predatory drag queens? But Statutory Ray isn't a person so much as a device for painting Philip as a shrinking violet when it comes to standing up to jerks like a Real American. You punch that hollow cipher in the face, Philip! But no. He even meekly apologizes to Paige for not fighting the guy. She says she wouldn't want him to. Don't listen to her, Philip! She's a GIRL!