The Jenningses' mission this week is to get a bug into the home of the U.S. Secretary of Defense, in preparation for a key meeting with a British official. Philip already has an in with the wife of the deputy undersecretary, and by "in," I mean they're doing it. She scopes out the Secretary's home office for Philip, but she may end up being more trouble than she's worth, since she's crazy in love with "Scott" (Philip's Swedish alias) and maybe just crazy.
Armed with photography of the Secretary's office, the Jenningses decide to target the housekeeper -- Heylia James from Weeds -- in order to get her to plant a bug in the clock on the shelf. They do this by injecting a toxin into her son and telling her to swipe the clock out and return it bugged or else her son dies. She's a religious woman, Heylia, which worries Philip, but she swipes the clock as told. And despite one unfortunate incident where her brother tries to take Philip out, the mission is running smoothly. But when it comes time to put the bugged clock back, she gets an attack of conscience. She's a woman of God and won't help a devil like Philip. So it looks like everything has gone to hell, until Philip comes to her house and puts a pillow over her son's face. It's one thing to let go and let God and hope the toxin doesn't kill him. It's another to watch him getting smothered in front of you. So Heylia agrees to plant the clock. She does, and now the KGB can listen in on top-secret discussions about missile shields.
Meanwhile, Agent Stan at first seems like he's just needlessly harassing an electronics-shop owner for the relatively minor sin of purchasing black-market caviar. But the young woman selling it to him is a Soviet diplomat, and catching her in the act means Stan can flip her (guess those draconian Soviet punishments are backfiring). So now Stan's got someone on the inside, kinda.
Finally, all that time spent with Heylia and her son, witnessing that fierce motherly instinct, has gotten Elizabeth thinking about her own motherly instincts. Paige is growing up fast, and Elizabeth decides that rather than just kneejerk-disapproving of her Americanization, she's going to take a moment to bond with her daughter and pierce her ears. Like all such mother-daughter ear-piercings, it's sweet, primal, and a little bit bloody.
Previously: Philip and Elizabeth are married Soviet spies; Stan is the FBI agent next door.
Currently: this week's episode begins much in the same way as last week's: with covert sexytimes. This time around, however, it's Philip putting the moves on some poor unsuspecting Washingtonian. She's young and blonde and she calls him "Scott."
Cut to Philip and Elizabeth at their cover job, which turns out to be at a travel agency. Philip is fretting about this woman, how she's not going to hold up to whatever they want her to do. Elizabeth is less concerned. Sounds like this woman's husband is a Defense department someone-or-other and she's been passing along information well enough so far. She obviously has the one talent they need: the ability to get men to turn their brains off. "It's brought down empires," Elizabeth says, getting her first taste of 1980s-style American battle-of-the-sexes comedy. Philip doesn't think she cares about empires. "She cares about Scott Berkland, patriotic Swedish intelligence office." WOW. When no more elegant solution is available, I guess you do just shove your exposition in wherever you can. Philip isn't so sure she cares that much about Scott either. "She's half off her rocker."
That night, at a dinner party, Mrs. Off Her Rocker is hanging around her husband and his pals as they discuss K-19 missiles with nuclear capability. She excuses herself to go "look something up," like, powdering your nose doesn't make you look smart enough, as excuses go? She sneaks into the office of whosever house this is and starts taking photographs with the camera that "Scott" helped embed in her bra earlier. This is not Alias type stealthiness. This is clunky, 1980s camera-shoved-into-your-bra espionage. Two guards come into the office, tell her the area is off limits, and then ask her to come with them. Gulp.
At home, Elizabeth tries to get Philip not to worry that things have gone wrong. He is off to the rendezvous point to meet his lady. He tells Elizabeth that if something did go wrong, it means he's walking into a room full of FBI agents, so, you know, cross your fingers.
Philip heads to the hotel room -- putting on his blue-eyed Swedish contact lenses as he walks down the hall because he's apparently terrible with time-management skills -- and cases the hallway for signs that the jig is up. None. He knocks on the door at the end of the hall, and it's only his girl on the other side. She's still got her bra-cam elaborately strapped to her chest, and she's positively giddy about how she almost got caught, but once she told the guards that her husband was the "deputy Undersecretary of Defense" (no pictures, please), they backed off real quick. She's so proud of herself, telling "Scott" how she carried herself exactly as he told her to. He's happy she pulled it off. Then, she gets serious for a second, and Philip gets the uh-oh face. And with good reason. Here's the speech about how she hasn't felt this way about anyone ever. She loves him. Philip hesitates for a second before deciding to just go all in and say he loves her too. Because what else is he gonna do? She gets on top of him and says she wants him inside her, which is always a gross thing to hear other people talk about, and FX maybe agrees because they beat a hasty retreat into the opening credits.