Anna Nicole Show

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: A- | 1239 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Better Homes and Candies

Anna is wearing jeans, pink heels, big old sunglasses, and a breast-revealing pink ruffled short-sleeved top. She slo-o-owly walks down a hallway. She's holding Sugar Pie, and is flanked by Howard, assistant Kim, some other guy, and yet another guy. Wow, she needs four people to help her make a decision? Now that's blonde.

She enters a smarmy real estate agent's office (Rezar is his name) and slurs that she needs a new home. The camera hovers over her, and she touches her breasts and says, "They keep wanting to pop out." Um, great. Don't, uh, hold back. It's E!, after all. Rezar gives her some candy (with nuts -- heh) to eat. She does, and the mic picks up on the very loud crunching noises. Everyone sits around while she chews. It's super-loud. I really wish she were eating a tiny little man. Or human bones. That would be cool. Anna is such the glamazon that eating candy seems too ordinary. She chews and chews, and then they all stand up to leave the office and go look at homes.

Anna vamps for the camera, making faux tai-chi poses (chi-chi?) and growling. Then she sticks her tits out and says, "Chop!" Well, then.

Sugar Pie is, apparently, gassy. Anna tells the dog to "quit farting." They still haven't left the office.

They all head down the stairs, and when Anna hits the doorway she stops and says, "Hold on, I have to eat something."

Anna's in the front seat of a black SUV. She holds up a yellow container on a red string and launches into a story of what her momma used to tell her. Always carry a quarter, Anna's momma said. So you can call someone. "But now, a quarter don't even buy a phone charge. Hee." Wow, Anna is high! A lot of things are different now, Anna. Phone calls are thirty-five cents. And they have these new things called cell phones. Oh, never mind. Want some more candy? Sure you do.

Rezar helps Anna out of the car. She shudder-sighs, "Oooh!"

Kim, the purple-haired assistant, says she doesn't know what Anna is looking for. "Something close to Daniel's school? I don't know." You've been a great help, Kim. Not.

Anna and Howard stand outside one house. Howard asks what she thinks of the outside. Hey, way to be specific, Howard. She says it looks "Mexican," and he says, "Hispanic." Yes, it's from the later period of Hispanic architecture, you ninny. Anna says she doesn't know, it looks like a "cana-bana. Ca-BAH-na?" Howard says, "Cabana." I say, "Oy."

Anna Nicole Show

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP