Now we see Anna squ-e-e-e-ze into a too-small tub. She doesn't fit, and makes a horrible groaning sound like she's going to barf up all that candy she just ate. The pony-tailed guy following her says, "Whoa, don't hurt yourself!" Dude, she's not a Stradivarius.
Anna walks around an empty room and declares it "too small." A bra strap slides down her arm.
Lucid Anna says she felt like they were never gonna find the right house.
Dazed Anna slumps face-first into a wall and pleads, "Kill me. Kill me." No one heeds her request. Which is good, right? "Just get myself out of my misery, pluh-eeeze!" She slides down the wall and collapses onto the floor. We get a few shots panning down Anna's prone body. Is this hot? Seriously, I can't tell.
Kim says that Anna says the house was "something a grandma would live in." Kim then laughs and says she guesses she'll be a grandma, because she liked the house. Yeah, that's pretty much all it takes to be a grandma.
Anna stumbles out of the house saying that she doesn't want to see another one. Then she mock-whispers to the camera that she really wants to get home to "masturbate. That's the real fun. [She] didn't get to masturbate this morning, now it's time to go home." My eyes just ran away from home. They said they aren't coming back, ever.
Anna, Anna, glamorous Anna, Anna Nicole!
Lucid Anna relays for us all that has happened so far: She and her entourage have looked for a new house, in vain. And now she's all tired, but she has to get "all dolled up" for some Guess? twentieth anniversary party. She makes this sound like a chore. Oh, the life of a big old blonde model. It's so rough!
We land at Le Meriden hotel. Anna is not so lucid, but slightly more coherent than during the house-hunting segment. Of course, that isn't saying much. It's like saying Tonto was less reticent, or that Cookie Monster was a bit more fond of cookies than he normally would be. Many handlers do her hair, squeeze her into a blue velvet gown, and brush on blue eye shadow. Sugar Pie sits on her lap. She commands Sugar Pie to "get" the camera operator. Sugar Pie growls, but knows what side his biscuits are buttered on and doesn't attack. She pretends to cry as the makeup artist puts "spiders," a.k.a. false eyelashes, on her. Anna? Don't pout. The people didn't like it when Eddie Vedder did it, and they won't like it when you do it. Suck it up and be a fucking superstar. She says she's looking at a place on the camera guy's body, and "guess where it is." His wallet? Then we get the segment that my boyfriend said gave him a partial: Anna looks into the camera and says, "Mm-hmm. Yeah. Come on. Come on. I dare you. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I double dare you. Bring it on, big boy."