Anna Nicole Show
House Hunting

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: B+ | Grade It Now!
Better Homes and Candies

Kim gets Daniel on the phone. Anna grabs it. "Hey, punker-poo. Punkin! Whatcha doo-in'? Do you love me? Do you miss me? More than all the raindrops in the world and all the fishes in the sea?" Daniel, sixteen, says "nothing" and "uh-huh." Anna says she loves him too "that much, also." She asks if he had anything to eat. Yeah, pizza. What? Pizza? "Huh? Pig snot?" No, PIZZA. Oh! Daniel has a Nirvana poster in his room. Daniel has good taste.

Anna says she loves her paparazzi. "Everyone calling [her] name, Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna!" She loves it. Good for her.

Anna, Anna, glamorous Anna, Anna Nicole!

More house-hunting. They're going with other brokers. Sorry, Rezar! Howard says that this new broker is "motherly." Whatever. Anna hops into the car and says she "can't wait to see this house," then basically nods off in the front seat. What is she on? She snaps to and asks what street the place is on. Calvina, says Motherly. Anna starts calling out street names in anticipation. "Bajio! I love you! Octavio, I love you too! Escallaion, I love you also. Old Ham! You suck. What a bad name. Come ooonnn! Where is it, where is it? Is this it? Is this it?" It is. And -- oh my god.

Anna loves the view (very Hollywood Hills), and the tub is to her liking. She's finally happy. It's her "dreeeeam hooome. Two thumbs up! If [she] had more thumbs, there'd be more thumbs. La, la la." Gah. Wha?

Lucid Anna says that it was nice to go into the new home and out of the old home. "The new home was just so nice and so beautiful." Good. And…rip off the Osbournes much? Jesus. Anna sets up her bedroll and TV and perches in her bedroom, happy as a big old fried clam. "See my TV?" Yeah, we do. Daniel says he'll be happy to be living downstairs, so his stereo and TV noise won't bother his mom. Wow, something would bother her? In her state? Anna says that, in the new house, she can "walk around naked with the wind going all through [her]." Um, okay. "The future seems brighter." Then we get an exterior shot of the house which is not at all borrowed from the Osbournes.

What's to come? Well, Sugar Pie humps a stuffed animal, Anna gets a lap dance and her boobs fondled, Howard gets yelled at, and there's a decorator that would probably never make it on Trading Spaces.

And one last segment: Anna torments Rezar by crawling out onto a diving board and makes him "swear? Swear? Swear? Swear? Swear? Swear? Swear?" that he'll give her a house. He screeches and dances like a mouse in a toaster oven. Then she makes him "shake on it? Shake on it? Shake on it? Shake on it? Shake on it?"

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Anna Nicole Show




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