Anna Nicole Show
The Eating Contest

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Empty Calories

Bobby and Howard fight again, some more, this time about there being no box spring for the bed. Bobby says, and I agree, that whoever bought the mattress should have bought the box spring. Howard says the bed "isn't exactly stable" (like he has an interest in the stability of Anna's bed? Whatever for?), and he thought Bobby would be furnishing the entire house. Bobby says no, he isn't, and that cups and dishes and stuff are to be provided by the client. Howard says that "a box spring is not a cup. It's not a dish." Wow. Howard asks exactly what Bobby will provide. What, did Howard not go over this before? Was there no invoice, no itemized list of what Anna (or E!, most likely) bought and is paying for? Bobby says, "like I said twenty minutes ago," he's providing "luxurious bedding, draperies," the best stuff, and the dining room set. Okay? That's still not too specific, but SHUT UP, Howard. The music gets a little Middle Eastern as Bobby kvells over the feathered pillows and duvet cover. Howard admits that Anna will love all the pillows. Dude, what about Sugar Pie? She might "looove" them too, if you know what I mean. Howard signs something and asks about the two couches for downstairs. Bobby says maybe in two weeks. Howard says Anna "isn't going to go for this 'in two weeks' thing, it's a house, she's gotta live." Um, yeah. Bobby says he'll look in the store and see what hasn't been sold, and says, "We're outta here!" Wow, Bobby Trendy hates Howard too! We have something in common.

Back at the tattoo shop (5150 Tattoo, if you want to visit), Kim gives in to peer pressure and decides to get her tongue pierced. Or it is decided for her. Whichever, I don't really care. Anna pleads to someone on the ceiling, "Please don't let anything happen to Kim's tongue." And she would have a vested interest in Kimmy's tongue because…? Just saying. The tattooist notes that Kim has a "short tongue." Okay. We get the piercing in real-time, too: Kim rinses with Scope, has her tongue dried off and clamped, then wham, she's pierced. She says later in an interview that she didn't want it at the last minute, but since her tongue was clamped, she couldn't say no. What a wimp! She should have got it taken out right then. No shame in that. Listen to your instincts. Kim looks really unhappy as she shows off her pierced tongue. I feel really badly for her! Take it out if you don't want it! Aww, poor Kimmy.

Anna, Anna, glamorous Anna, Anna Nicole!

We see a shot of Anna waving off Howard's hand ("don't touch me!") again. Then Anna says in an interview that every time she and Howard get in a fight, he'll go home, then call and ask, "Is it over?" What a loser. She says that "it's tough to let him go untortured, to let him back into [her] good graces again and out of the doghouse." Oh, wow. We get a shot of her and Howard hugging from earlier, when she had the USA bandanna on. She goes on to say that people in her life have been "untrustworthy" and have hurt her in the past, and she "doesn't have anyone else in [her] life but [her] purple-haired assistant" and Howard, and Daniel. Wow, sad.

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Anna Nicole Show

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