Anna, Anna, fabulous Anna, Anna Nicole!
Back at the scene of the Larry King tape, Anna wipes her eyes and gets misty. Wow, he died FIVE YEARS ago, and this is still the defining moment in her life. How sad is that? The most important person in her life is dust in an urn. How-Urn. Well, not as sad as Judd Winick still crying about Pedro Zamora, I guess. ["Because it's never off-topic -- shut up, Judd." -- Sars]
Howard addresses someone just to the right of the camera (as he takes up the left-hand side of the frame), and says that "this is a very sad day," because Anna will transport the ashes of Howard to her new home today. Well, half of J. Howard's ashes. Why is Howard so feckin' teary and mournful about this? Oh, right -- he's trying to set the tone so that he can make money off this show and his client. And why can't he close his mouth between sentences? Howard says J. Howard's son, Pierce, wanted the body cremated, while Anna wanted a burial. "So the resolution, if you can call it a resolution, was sorta taken from the wisdom of Solomon." Wow, that's sorta interesting.
Howard faces Anna, with a huge lipstick print on his cheek. From her lips, I'm guessing. They drive over to the old house to get the urn. Anna sniffles the whole way. Howard has his hand between Anna's thighs as he drives.
Howard says How-Urn is "the most important thing to her," and that moving the urn is "very symbolic of this change in her life." Oh, is it "really symbolic," Howard, you prick? Anna cries as Howard whispers, "He'd be very happy for you."
Anna takes the urn out to the car, then sits and whimpers, "Sometimes I think that this is all just a dream and I'm gonna wake up and he's gonna be there, and that this is all just a dream." Howard holds her hand and says, "I wish it was true." Good god, I fear for my soul. This is real. Real awful. Howard VOs that "the lawsuits are a constant reminder that Howard isn't around her, and it's hard for her to get closure." Replace "closure" with "money" and see what you get.
Anna wanders around her new, still-empty house and "shows" everything to How-Urn. "Seeee? See all the things you got me, I still have them? Pierce didn't get thoo-se?" There's a close-up of a panther's face. Rrowrr. Anna stops in front of the fridge and says she has food, she has "money now." Did she not have food for five years? The camera doesn't lie: yes, she did. Anna takes How-Urn into the bedroom to "show" him "where we live." Oh my god, someone shoot the piano player. I'm on a no-corn diet. What is this, E!? Oh, right. Anna places How-Urn on the TV facing the bed. She says that he "likes it" and that she "feels better." Um, good?