Apprentice: Martha
Bake It 'Til You Make It

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C+ | Grade It Now!
There's No Success Like Failure And Failure's No Success At All

Loft. Hateful Jim, who EW! EW! EW! has his shirt off, talks to David about how they failed because the product was too specific. "Somebody's gotta take the fall for making that cake so specific and it shouldn't be you, guy, unless you're the one who told her to make it pink," Hateful Jim schemes. David confesses that he wasn't going to go against his expert cook's opinions that they should have an asymmetrical, oval, pink cake. Bethenny reminds Marcela that the fact of the cake being pink is going to be used against them. Marcela confesses that while she's a chef, she cooks Mexican cuisine and doesn't know a thing about wedding cakes. She didn't even have a wedding cake at her own wedding. Marcela goes on to say that when a pro like Sylvia Weinstock tells you to think pink, you make like Kay Thompson and think pink! Elsewhere, Weather Girl Shawn says, "I had so many women who were saying to me, 'But pink's not my color.'" Okay, but let's not forget that you are the one who told the team that pink frosting was in. Weather Girl Shawn adds that it's hard for her to be objective because she didn't like their cake as much as she liked Primarius's. Bethenny gives her the stink-eye and let me tell you, stink-eye from those eyes? Pretty damn scary. Bethenny confesses that Shawn wasn't committed to the product she was selling and that she conveniently forgot that she was the one who told them to make the cake pink. David rubs his eyes and tells the group how much he hates this and says, "Dawn, Marcela, Bethenny -- all three of you be ready to go. I could pick any of the three of you." Oh, please! That's such BULLSHIT! What, exactly, has Dawn done wrong this time? Dawn asks exactly that. David's pathetic answer? "I don't think that you're ever going to be able to lead the rest of this team." Right. Like you led this team SO successfully on YOUR watch? You're an idiot, David, and you need to shave off that nasty bit of fuzz hanging on your chin. And wash your hair! Dawn confesses that it's so stupid to try to pin their loss on her. David later confesses that with the exception of Weather Girl Shawn, everyone else was positive about them winning. Wait, I mean I know how she acted after she saw the cake, but let's not forget what Shawn said to Charles about how he could fire her if they didn't win. At some point, she was convinced they were going to win. David's still trying to figure out who is responsible for their loss -- the sales team or the bakers. And where does Dawn the accountant fit? Oh, right, SHE DOESN'T! Ass. He's just a wimp who doesn't want to get fired himself, so he'll bring in the team scapegoat, thinking that everyone will pile on her and convince Martha to send her home. "Dahkness at the break of NOOOON -- shadows of a silver SPOOOOOON! Bem bem bem bem!" Mathra twangs. See? Crazy.

Matchstick arrives at the conference room. Martha wonders why they came up with the design that they did. Marcela admits to wanting to "think outside the box." ["Drink!" -- Sars] Martha doesn't think they did their research by looking through her magazines that are scattered thick and deep all over the loft. She adds that in all their years of publishing the wedding mag, they only did one asymmetrical cake. Martha also seems to be holding up a photo of tiers of cupcakes and says that one can dream over something like that. Weather Girl Shawn brings up what Sylvia Weinstock said about no one wanting to mess with the paper on a cupcake at a wedding. "Oh, well, you don't have to have paper," Martha says. Marcela throws up her hands. "So, they just come as is -- little cakes?" Weather Girl Shawn asks. "Oh, yes, completely glazed, completely covered -- just mini wedding cakes," Martha tells her. Weather Girl Shawn wonders why Sylvia would tell them something like that. Martha smiles that Sylvia is a character and makes some of the most beautiful wedding cakes she has ever seen, "but I have probably sold more cakes than Sylvia Weinstock." Damn -- them's frostin' words! Martha admits that Sylvia knows her stuff but that she targets a very specific audience. She asks about the sales team. Weather Girl Shawn creels how pathetic it is that they put so much effort into selling the cake with so little results. Hateful Jim says, "The sales pitch goes like this: 'Have you thought about colors for your wedding?' 'Yes, we have.' 'Oh, what are they?' 'Blue.' 'Okay. NEXT!'" That doesn't sound like a very impressive sales pitch, but what do I know? Charles's cigar, in all seriousness, tells Hateful Jim he'd consider changing that sales pitch on the next round. Alexis adds, "Well, it would have been great if you could have convinced the bride who was using blue that the pink cake would have been the perfect thing." But then the wedding would look like a baby shower.

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Apprentice: Martha




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