Primarius. Hateful Jim, Carrie, and Howie meet with the Sorvinos and make stupid jokes about machine guns. How many times has Paul Sorvino played a mobster? I mean, I know it's been a few times, but his Hollywood life hasn't been defined by that. Heck -- I tend to define his Hollywood life by the fact that he was Worf's brother. ["I'd have gone with Phil 'Big Daddy' Cerreta from L&O." -- Sars] Hateful Jim proposes the idea that the winning bidder gets to have their dog transformed for a day into a "working" dog on a set. Great, as if these New York social amoebas aren't bad enough with their million-dollar pocket dogs who have the same hairdresser, personal trainer, and manicurist they do; now you're going to transform them into Stage Pet Owners? Cripes. They say goodbye to Paul with one more asinine comment about machine guns.

Elsewhere, Bethenny and Sarah meet with Susan "Oh My God She Finally Won a Daytime Emmy" Lucci and her white powder puff of a dog. Sarah says their idea was for the winning bidder to have a shopping day with Susan, which would also include some dog and human spa treatments. Susan laughs hard, showing her hard white teeth. "Maybe a nice diva day," Bethenny adds. "Diva DOGGIE Day!" Susan laughs whitely.

On the set of Broadway's Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Hateful, Howie, and Carrie talk about the winning bidder going to the show in a hired car and getting to meet the cast of the show. Joanna Gleason wants to know what, in their dream world, would they bid on. Well, a walk-on part, of course. Both John Lithgow (LOVE! LOVE!) and Joanna agree that might be doable. Hateful Jim blibbles, "To walk on stage at the end of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels? On Broadway? With John Lithgow and Joanna Gleason? That's HUGE! You can't buy that!" Except...they will. With their bids of...money? God, Hateful Jim is such a joke, Mickey Mouse has a picture of HIM on his watch.