Apprentice: Martha
Final Approach

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C- | Grade It Now!
Clueless Joe Jackson

JFK Airport. Song's chartreuse terminal that will make passengers airsick even before they board the plan. Primarius films their commercial, and Hateful Jim directs an actor how to walk. Bethenny is annoyed with Hateful Jim's attempt to be Fellini. "Beautiful!" Hateful Jim crows. "Oh, that's so perfect, it makes me wanna puke!" Well, would you look at that? He IS Fellini! Dawna tells Hateful Jim they are getting on the plane in two minutes. "We want to get into the plane, we want to get some shots in there of the businessman having a martini. It's going to be our closing shot, so that's a really important one. As long as we have the martini shot and I can have one too, we shouldn't lose," Hateful Jim says. On the plane, Hateful Jim pantomimes out giving the businessman his martini. Dawna talks to a flight attendant and asks if they're getting real martinis. The flight attendant says they are definitely getting real drinks, so Dawna tells him not to give Hateful Jim any. She points Hateful out and says, "No alcohol for him." "Why -- has he had too much already?" the flight attendant asks. BWAH! "No," Dawna says, "he's already crazy as it is and we don't need any alcohol in his system." Hee. I think Dawna's going to win the whole thing.

The flight attendant makes a drink with Finlandia vodka. Hateful Jim carries the orange cocktail down the aisle and says, "Whoops, it fell in my mouth." But he doesn't drink anything. Kind of a letdown, really. They change martini glasses to one with a dark stem. The businessman sips his cocktail and we segue right to Ryan tossing back his first case of beer. Unless it's Post Road Pumpkin Ale, there's no need to be so gluttonous, dude.Matchstick is editing their commercial. Ryan critiques his Clueless Joe performance and giggles, "I hope you're amazing, Chuck, because my acting isn't going to help you." Chuck, the editor, sort of tosses A Look over his shoulder at Ryan. I feel you, Chuck. Ryan used to be cool, but this time...he's just not. Ryan guffaws over his other scenes and tells Chuck what he loves. On his second beer -- it is made very obvious, since his first beer was in a brown bottle and now he's got a rancid green Heinie in his hand -- Ryan starts to slur through what he likes about the commercial. I don't really care what he thinks. Do you care what he thinks? No? Didn't think so. Let's agree that this scene is all about how much Ryan drank. "I should get another beer," Ryan says, getting up. "Chuck, do you want anything to drink?" "NO, THANK YOU," Chuck says very clearly. See, people who are supposed to be working are not supposed to be drinking. Maybe someone should tell that to my half-full wine glass. "All right, beer comin' for ya," Ryan responds. Okay, so either Ryan is already so drunk that his hearing is impaired, or they dubbed in Chuck's "NO, THANK YOU" after the fact to drown us in Ryan's carelessness. Ryan explains himself in a confessional: "When we got to the editing studio, the fridge was packed with beersss, you know it's going to be a long night and that's what those guys do -- the guys that work in that business, they drink beers and edit." They do? I want to work there! Wait, I already drink beers and edit. Never mind. What I don't do? I don't drink during a job interview. I don't care how loudly my hip flask is calling out to me as I go over my previous clients and assignments, I. Don't. Drink. During. Interviews. Frequently.

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Apprentice: Martha




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