Apprentice: Martha
Mixed Greens

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C+ | Grade It Now!
It's Quite Easy Being Green

Oh. Lord. We cut to a painful commercial of Charles and Alexis at a restaurant. Alexis looks as thin as she does on Martha and her hair is growing out in weird unkempt tufts. It's at that awkward age. Sort of like the rest of Alexis. Anyway, Alexis tells Charles she has a confession. Charles's reaction is pretty hysterical; he's all, "A confession?" and he looks a bit repulsed at the very idea. "You know I'm a salad lover and I grew up eating Mom's dressings, but I really love Wishbone." Alexis sort of picks up and puts down the bottle of Wishbone Cranberry Walnut that is next to her plate. "Don't worry," Charles says, pulling out his bottle of Rosemary-Lime, "you're not alone." We get the promo voice and then we cut back to Alexis saying, "Just don't tell my mother!" and Charles looks at her like she's crazy. Whether he thinks she's crazy because he's also loving the Wishbone, because her mother was the one who arranged the commercial, is not totally clear. Alexis then bursts out laughing like she knows the whole idea of her being in a commercial is totally ridiculous. It's very weird.

The Primarius girls sit around and talk about what goes down in the conference room. They mine Bethenny for information. She tells them the best thing to do is to be honest and everything will work out the way it's supposed to. Jennifer says she would pick Hateful Jim to leave. Carrie says that Hateful Jim is "Very bright...scary bright." "He's manic, he's crazy," Jennifer adds. A few others agree, and say they were humiliated by him. Bethenny confesses that everyone is so scared of Hateful Jim, "That's what makes me think everyone is so weak -- are they kidding? Scared of Jim -- it makes me laugh." Jennifer calls Hateful Jim a crazy snake.

Martha meets the Matches on Chelsea Pier. They're all bundled up for a nice wet sail. "I wish I were going but I have to go -- I have to go home," Martha says, feeling the anklet start to cut off her circulation. In five hours it will be gangrene. In six hours the cops will be deployed. The Matches all say goodbye and thanks to Martha and get on the schooner. They are actually expected to help sail the two-ton craft, so they get on various halyards and pull their weight. Get it? Ryan confesses, "David and Marcela have never won before -- I was used to winning, but I wanted this to be a new team and a new experience. I wanted to put wind in the teams sails." GET IT?! "Wow, this is America," someone says, looking at the city lights. Does anyone want to point out that it's actually only New York? No? Me neither -- let them stay innocent for a little longer.

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Apprentice: Martha




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