Apprentice: Martha
Mixed Greens

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It's Quite Easy Being Green

Martha pretty much glares at them as they all sit down in the conference room. "I thought some of you'd be in their pajamas," she bites out, almost irritably. What is her problem? Everyone gives her an uncomfortable courtesy laugh. "I am," Hateful Jim says. So...pajamas are what MSLO employees wear to work? Why am I not getting this? I know I'm sick, but I didn't think it was making me stupid. Also, I really believe that when the Martha phone rang, Hateful Jim made a point of scurrying (scurrying like a RAT!) into his pajamas just so he could make a thing out of it. I mean, everyone else was assembled and actually waiting around for him before they went to the conference room; why did it take him so long to change if he wasn't changing back into proper clothes? More attention for Hateful Jim. More Wild Turkey in my veins. Martha tells them she called them back because she wants to reorganize the teams, "This is what we'd do at Martha Stewart Omnimedia. If a team wasn't working we would reshuffle, we would bring in different blood." Why does Alexis suddenly look so fearful at the sound of "blood"? Maybe she's afraid Mama's gettin' hungry.

Martha asks Primarius who among them hasn't yet been a project manager. Ryan, Jennifer, and Sarah all raise their hands. They also all raise their hands when Martha asks which of them would volunteer to be project managers. Martha selects Ryan and Jennifer as the new project managers, and tells everyone else to line up against the wall so the new teams can be chosen, sixth-grade-gym-class-style. Because people on the boards read a great deal (and I don't blame them) into who got chosen in what order, I'm going to write it out. Obviously, Jennifer and Ryan alternated turns, but Jennifer chose Howie, Sarah, Carrie, Bethenny, and Hateful Jim. Ryan chose Dawna, Amanda, Leslie, David, and Marcela. Both of them picked their former Primarius team members first (with Ryan basically being stuck with Leslie as the last Primarius choice) before moving onto the Matches. It was down to Hateful Jim and Marcela as the last two choices, and because Jennifer is obviously in need of an exorcist right about now, she chose Hateful Jim over Marcela. Fine. Those are the teams, and I'll be damned if my snot-filled head is going to be able to remember which is Primarius and which is Matchstick now.

Martha is pleased, and tells Jennifer that she and hers are now Primarius and Ryan and his are Matches. "And the name shouldn't have ANYTHING to do with success -- it is not a jinxed name. The people were jinxed!" Martha announces. Everyone laughs. "And you know what? I don't even think it was the people," Martha goes on. I don't think it was the people either. Because Hateful Jim isn't people. Martha thinks it was the mix of people that was jinxed, and says they will have their new task tomorrow, "So, I will say adieu! And I will say goodnight!" Will she also say, "So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodnight? Adieu! Adieu! To yieu! And yieu! And yieu!"? Will the Sound of Music references never stop? Probably not, given that a street musician was playing an accordion on Market Street as I walked to the MUNI and before I realized what I was doing, I found myself softly murmuring, "Hate-el-weiss, hate-el-weiss, every Wednesday you greet me!" Martha tells them that Julia will be calling them bright and early with their new, fun task. They are all excused.

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Apprentice: Martha

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