An issue of Martha's Kids magazine is flipped open by phantom hands, and we see an article headline that is undoubtedly supposed to be the Good Thing of The Week: "How Do You Connect With Your Customer?" Martha thinks the connection is important, and I'm sure she's right, but I'm not here to be an apprentice, I'm here to recap The Apprentice. Let's move on, please.
Primarius. In the Rudyard Kipling conference room, the team quickly agrees to adapt Jack and the Beanstalk. Maybe the giant doesn't die! Maybe they go underwater! While PM Dawna quietly tries to assert herself, one of the blonds, whose name I don't know, starts excitedly describing a whirlpool, while using frantic hand motions. "The project manager is speaking!" someone announces through the gabble. These brainstorming sessions give me agita. PM Dawna takes control of the meeting and breaks them up into two groups. One group will snatch some kids off the street while the other group finishes the book for the street kids.
Matchstick 20. In the Dr. Seuss conference room, PM Jeff proposes urbanizing Hansel and Gretel because, in his words, the story is about running away and "the city is a scary place to run away." Or something. The team nominates Dawn to write the book because she has a writing/publishing background. Alexis and Charles quietly walk in as Dawn announces, "I'm just going to ask nicely that everyone please try to respect a little bit of personal space...maybe don't interrupt --" "Whispers! Whispers!" Hateful Jim IMMEDIATELY interrupts. " -- me or try to be quiet while I'm in the corner," Prima Dawn requests. In the Hateful Jim Confessional, Hateful Jim says, "Honestly, it was a bit of a surprise when Dawn said, 'Okay! I just need to have quiet!' I'm not really familiar with working with a person who in a giant group situation needs absolute quiet in order to operate." Hateful Jim? A. You don't know what it means to be quiet; B. she didn't say it that way with the coked-up gasping and sticking out of neck veins and crap; C. you're a dick.
Now we get a scene of lots of talking, lots of separate activity, and lots of Dawn looking stressed. In the Bitch Confessional, PM Jeff opines, "Dawn didn't like the noise, didn't like chaos, she really can't do the work in a room full of screaming people." PM Jeff makes the decision that Dawn needs to be "marginalized." You know, I really don't get why "writers need quiet" is such a surprise to any of them. Didn't they read Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own? Okay, neither did I because To the Lighthouse makes me nervous enough, but writers needing quiet is not exactly a novel concept. And I know I called her "Prima Dawn," but that was really just an excuse to use the nickname; I actually sympathize with her. As Charles takes notes -- with difficulty, I might add, because he's holding his unlit cigar in the same hand as his pen -- PM Jeff announces that he will sit facing the window and finish "drafting" the book. He invites Dawn to look over his shoulder and kibitz.