Apprentice: Martha
Apprentice: Martha

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B- | 425 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Skittles and Vittles

Martha repeats how this is the most difficult part. Yes, you're a softie. You love EVERY-one and you want EVERY-one to succeed. EV. ERY. ONE! Martha questions HRH PM Jeff for bringing two people in that she thinks contributed a lot to the team. In his rush to disabuse her of that notion, HRH PM Jeff stammers that Hateful Jim is there because he is disruptive: "He is a dynamo one moment and a whirling dervish the next." Hateful Jim makes childish faces before defending himself with the fact that he likes to have fun, but when it comes to working, he worked his ass off. Dawn steps in to defend Hateful Jim and his contribution to the project. HRH PM Jeff continues that Hateful Jim was disruptive. Hateful Jim snaps back at him, saying everything HRH PM Jeff is blithering about is "sour grapes." I don't think he's quite using that term correctly, but he's an idiot anyway, so I won't lose any sleep over it. Dawn and Hateful Jim both rail against HRH PM Jeff's writing of the story. Alexis gets it out of them that they didn't like the story. "Was I more impressed by the poetry and flow than, you know, the Pied Piper of Hamlin here, who kind of led us down the road, or was I being snowed by the fact --" Hateful Jim would have continued, insanely, but Martha tells him that he's mixing fairy tales. "So, the Pied Piper was Jeffrey?" Charles and his cigar ask. Hateful Jim, bouncing hatefully in his chair, says he believes that to be the case. And who were the rats, Jim? WHO WERE THE RATS?! Cutting to the chase, Martha tells us what publishing needs. Say it with me, boys and girls: connect with your consumer! Martha points out that HRH PM Jeff didn't listen to her on that point, that his message (and it was his message) was off, and that he didn't connect with his own co-workers. "So, Jeffrey," Martha finishes, "you just don't fit in." Whoa. Talk about bringing the bitch! I mean, it's not bringing the obvious bitch, but it's still pretty mean when you think about it. It's like something tight knots of pig-tailed and be-skirted girls say to the tomboy who wants to jump rope with them on the playground. Telling someone they don't fit in is more personal than just telling them they're fired -- it's like they have a character flaw or something. HRH PM Jeff sits back in his chair and nods. Dawn looks stern and thoughtful. Hateful Jim twists his monkey features up into a nasty little smile. Martha stands up, puts out her hand, and says, "Goodbye." HRH PM Jeff shakes it, thanks everyone on Martha's side of the table, and leaves.

Apprentice: Martha

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