Martha gets down to hand-forged brass tacks and, being Martha, explains the Renaissance origins of apprenticeships. I don't think Donald even knows how to pronounce the word "Renaissance." Martha goes on about looking for the right individual to work with her and create something big, and how they don't have boardrooms at her company ("Charles" nods at this statement. And he's holding an unlit cigar. For the record. I'm sorry, I can't seem to stop), and how they have conference rooms, and how the teams will be taken to task in that very conference room with the lovely square-potted moss on the table. Martha wants them to have fun, but she also wants every single one of them to succeed, which isn't actually possible, Martha. Martha, Alexis, and Charles wish them all luck. You can hear Jim screaming, "Thank you!" above everyone else.
In the Excitement Confessional, Carrie yelps that her meeting with Martha was the culmination of everything she is and everything she "[has] worked up to [sic] this point in [her] life." I rather hate the Excitement Confessionals -- the wind is always blowing and so is the hyperbole. Note that Carrie is wearing blue and green in Martha's famously signature shades here, so either she's doing a subliminal suck-up or Martha is as obsessive about color-coordinating the (im)Clones as she is about her pets.
The (im)Clones enter their loft, and shrieks abound. Don't these people watch reality shows? Because I can't remember the last reality show that didn't have an unrealistically swank pad, so the surprised shrieks need to cheese it. Immediately. I wonder how breathtaking they'd really think it was if they had watched the Martha episode where she and Donald do a walk-through of the loft and exposit that most of the stuff comes from Kmart. The (im)Clones pour out the champagne and Carrie bellows, "Let's propose a toast to All Good Things!" Aw, toasting the finale of Star Trek: The Next Generation! She must be a Trekkie! Shout-out to Keckler! "To good things," Carrie hurriedly corrects herself. Oh, fine. Among the bottles of champagne, they find a note from Martha welcoming them to the show and their new life as (im)Clones. Martha's message also instructs them to divide themselves into two teams of eight. People groan, and one (im)Clone's jaw drops. Again, don't they watch reality shows? Can someone explain what it is they find so shocking about that instruction? Martha asks her (im)Clones to find something that each team has in common and get ready for the first task, beginning tomorrow. In the Bitch Confessional, Carrie bitches, "We were all in the party mode -- we wanted to settle in and really enjoy this BEAUTIFUL [Kmart] loft and all of a sudden, we're back to business." Um, freak show? Why do you think you're here?