Apprentice: Martha
Once Upon A Time

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C+ | Grade It Now!
Skittles and Vittles

Back at the Matchstick playground, Dawn says that she wants to sit down on the floor with the kids as she reads to them, which I think is an excellent idea. However, power-tripping PM Jeff prisses, "Ummm, I would recommend that you not do that." He's so banned. "We don't need you to be a likeable person for the kids. We need you to be a powerful presenter to the executives," PM Jeff doesn't really explain at all. Yeah, he's been firmly established as a dick now. Dawn notes that they are not on the same page and tries to explain -- very reasonably, I think -- that she would be terrified if an executive read her a story standing up and looking down at her. PM Jeff snottily clarifies that he didn't say she had to stand, but he thinks it's unseemly for her to sit on the floor with the kids. Dawn shrugs that if details like that matter to him at this point, she would like to hear from everyone else, so they can decide as a group. "Dawn?" PM Jeff explains. "At this point, I am the Project Manager and I'm --" As soon as PM Jeff reminds her that he is, in fact, the PM, Dawn makes hysterical exaggerated bowing-down motions at him and says, "Tell me what to do and how I'm going to do it -- do you want to pick out my wardrobe today too?" PM Jeff decides that she won't be reading for them today. Instead, Weather Girl Shawn will have that dubious honor. Weather Girl Shawn accepts her new assignment without a murmur. I can't believe nobody defended Dawn on the sitting-standing-squatting point -- they're giving PM Jeff the okay to steamroll the entire project just as he's done this whole time. ["…Which will get him fired, instead of them. Not the upstandingest strategy you ever saw, but obviously it worked." -- Sars] PM Jeff announces that His Highness will now be partaking in a shower. "And you're a team player -- you're part of the team?" Dawn asks PM Jeff as he takes off his cuff links that are probably stamped with "HRH PMJ." "Yes, I am actually the leader of the team," HRH PM Jeff reminds her. Weather Girl Shawn leaves the room, barely squeaking past Marcela and her enormously protuberant and extremely wide-awake dinners. How is that children's hour attire? I mean, unless she intends to breast-feed some of them? "And if you don't see that this is good for our team, then you are not playing on my team," HRH PM Jeff explains condescendingly. Dawn says something about him frustrating her, but HRH PM Jeff says, "I am not engaging you -- I don't care, you should stop engaging me because I'm going to shower now." Dawn says she's trying to make things better, but again, HRH PM Jeff won't listen. "If you would like to join me in the bathroom you may, but I am going to be naked," he says. Dawn makes a face and again starts to say, "I'm trying --" but AGAIN HRH PM Jeff interrupts her and says, "I don't care what you're trying -- you're failing." And that's that.

Hollering for Hateful Jim to leave with them NOW, Matchstick leaves the loft. Weather Girl Shawn is dressed like a preppy tulip with a pink blouse, a kelly-green flippy skirt, and a big red rosette on her chest. I thought rosettes as a fashion statement got mulched after the first season of Sex and the City. David, looking like the internet company owner he is with his weird little beard and curly, greasy hair, says that it's now up to the children. Thanks, David. Don't really know who you are yet, but thanks all the same.

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Apprentice: Martha




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