Apprentice: Martha
Once Upon A Time

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Keckler: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Skittles and Vittles
Mathra: Oh, come on -- don't play the odds!

Elaborate and beautiful sushi set-up. Martha very graciously greets the arriving Primariuses and introduces them to the head chef and co-owner of Masuri. Martha points out fresh wasabi on the sushi trays and tells everyone that it grows in running water. "It's like it's art," one of the (im)Clones pipes up. "It's like art on a plate!" Because no one's ever said that about sushi before. Martha compliments them all on a good meeting that day and says she'd love to hear Howie read the story. In the Excitement Confessional, Howie says, "I was psyched -- I finally felt like this was my chance to catch Martha's eye, get her to know the real Howie." Get to know "the real Howie"? Did she know "any other Howie" before now? I sort of think she knows "no Howie." Howie goes on that he sorta thinks he might be falling in love with Martha Stewart. "But let's keep that low," Howie pleads. Aw, cute.

Back at the loft, HRH PM Jeff sets about galvanizing the team against Dawna. He seems to get no argument from Weather Girl Shawn and bag-eyed Bethenny. In what I should start calling Bethenny's Screeching Confessional, Bethenny screeches that HRH PM Jeff has VALUE to the team as a whole, but Dawn does not. Hateful Jim corners Bethenny in the loft's living room and says, "Don't do Dawn -- don't do Dawn, and I'm gonna tell you why." Bethenny says there's no question but that she will nominate Dawn for dismissal. "You're wrong and I'm gonna tell you why you're wrong," Hateful Jim says. You're an asshole and I'm gonna tell you why you're an asshole. "Every task you go on, Dawn will be a problem. Dawn can be sacrificed at any time, Jeff may never f--- up again -- you wanna lose to Jeff?" Hateful Jim demands. In the Hateful Jeff Confessional, Hateful Jeff bellows that HRH PM Jeff took on too much and failed and Hateful Jim wants him gone. "Jeff could beat one of us," Hateful Jim continues calmly. "Great -- if he's supposed to win --" Bethenny starts to say. "WROOOONG!" Hateful Jim interrupts her. "If it came down to me, you, or Dawn, Dawn couldn't beat either of us." Bethenny stands up, saying, "If I don't win going with my gut, with what I think is the truth and being fair, I'm not doing it, that's all I gotta say," and she walks away. "All right, babe," Hateful Jim says, "you're either with me or you're against me." Okay, Anakin W. Bush. In the Hateful Jim Confessional, Hateful Jim bellows that this stabbing in the back thing is the best thing that ever happened to him because he's GREAT at being a little shit. "It is kill or be killed! Eat or be eaten! What could possibly be better?" Hateful Jim demands. Apparently, the show on Thursday. "It's time to sacrifice some lambs," Hateful Jim says to Bethenny's back. But only if you first rub them with a lovely lavender salt.

Matchstick packs up for the conference room. Dawn interviews that she thinks HRH PM Jeff is in for a big surprise and that when the facts come out, he's gone. In the Bragging Confessional, HRH PM Jeff says, "If it comes down to me and Dawn in the conference room, if I can't whup her ass, then I need to go home and hang my head in shame." Start hanging, my friend. Start hanging.

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Apprentice: Martha

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