Apprentice: Martha
Once Upon A Time

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C+ | Grade It Now!
Skittles and Vittles

In the Conference Room, Martha questions the ideas in their book. "I agree," Dawn gets in. Martha doesn't like the name-changing or the out-of-the-house-sneaking that the children do. "What were you guys thinking?" Charles asks, unlit cigar waving. Marcela, her enormous, dangling dinners put away for the moment because they don't feel like competing with her enormous, dangling earrings, says that as a mother, she also had some concerns about the content being too strong for the children. Alexis agrees. Then we cut from Alexis to Weather Girl Shawn, which just is too confusing. Cut from whomever else to whomever else you like, but do not cut from Alexis to Shawn or vice versa because I can't tell if they are two different people or the same person from a different angle. Martha notes that Dawn is actually a trained writer, and Dawn confirms that she has a master's degree from a writing literature and publishing program. *Cough* Emerson *cough* Martha wants to know if she wrote the story. "No, that was Jeff," Dawn says. "I don't like the story," Martha states. Hateful Jim exaggerates a "WOW!" with his mouth. Shut up, Hateful Jim, and stop trying to get on camera. Martha asks Marcela who she would say is the person who didn't pull her weight. Marcela announces that she feels Dawn has a lot to contribute, but in the end, the only contribution she made was a negative one. Martha turns to David, who says that Dawn didn't act "very positively," but that she also wasn't given the creative space she needed to work. He blames Jeff for that. Chuck says that as much as he likes Hateful Jim as a person, he wouldn't hire him. Wait, wait, let's get back to that Hateful Jim as a person part -- is he on crack? No, seriously -- how, after how horrible Hateful Jim has been acting from beginning to end, can any sane person like him as a person? I...just...don't...SLUUUURP! Ahhh, giiiiiiinnnnnnn.

Hateful Jim makes all manner of weird facial tics as he presses his fingertips together. "I have an opinion," Bethenny announces. Really? You? No! "Yes?" is all Martha says. Bethenny rails on Dawn, saying that Dawn's negative energy was a poison the way stuff with eggs, wheat, dairy, and refined sugars are poisons, and that she didn't have solutions, and -- Bethenny would, no doubt, have gone on and on, but Martha interrupts to ask Dawn if that's true. Dawn begins to say that she had a resource she feels wasn't used. HRH PM Jeff shifts in his throne, and Dawn turns to him, saying, "Let me finish!" HRH PM Jeff says with surprise that he wasn't going to interrupt her. Martha smiles. Dawn defends herself. HRH PM Jeff says that Dawn was the thing that the team needed to be protected from, and brings up the whole banana thing. Dawn tries to explain herself, but Bethenny interrupts, saying that she also had a big problem with Dawn wanting a banana. It's because you didn't make the banana, isn't it, Bethenny? Bethenny says something about people being out or up all night, and I can't tell if this is a problem or not, but Dawn interrupts to say that she had been up all night editing. "No you didn't -- I woke up and you went to bed, you slept seven hours. Don't lie!" Bethenny shrieks. "I did not -- I went to bed at three o'clock in the morning!" Dawn shrieks back. "Don't lie!" Bethenny says, pinching her lips in a really ugly way and punching a finger in Dawn's direction. HRH PM Jeff thinks it's now evident "what needed to be removed." Hateful Jim announces that HRH PM Jeff took on more than he could chew. An obvious Martha voice-over tells HRH PM Jeff that he needs to pick the two people he feels are responsible for their failure. HRH PM Jeff chooses Dawn and Hateful Jim. Hateful Jim proceeds to wrench his face up into a look of mighty puzzlement. Martha excuses everyone else and tells the troublesome trio to wait in the lobby.

The troublesome trio waits, and I notice that Hateful Jim is wearing brown shoes with a black suit.

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Apprentice: Martha




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