Apprentice: Martha
Sandra Lee's Semi-Homemade Holiday

Episode Report Card
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Seasoning Packet Greetings!

I Saw Gordon Kissing Sandra Lee

Vomitin' Around the Christmas Tree

Gordon's Beard

O Holy Shit ("The 'tinis are quickly pouring")

I Came Upon Some Everclear ("That glorious grain of old")

O Little Town of Pre-Cooked Ham

Ave Martini

Sandra the Red-Nosed Drunkard

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Semi-Christmas

Silent Fright

Here Comes Puddin' Cups ("Right down Puddin' Cups Lane!")

O Tanning Bed, O Tanning Bed

Dreck the Halls with Boughs of Folly

Dinner Time Medley: Breastnuts Roasting in an Open Shirt/Let 'Em Show, Let 'Em Show, Let 'Em Show!/Jiggle Boobs, Jiggle Boobs, Jiggle All the Way

The Holly and the Poison Ivy

Barf, The Viewing Public Spews

I'll Be Drunk for Christmas

Away in a Craft Store

God Rest Ye Merry Kwanzaa Cake ("Let nothing you dismay, not even the corn nuts")

I Saw Three Ships Come Wavering In ("But it may have been all the Get Sleighed Cocktails")

Bing, Bong Tipsily on High

What Crap Is This? ("When fondanted to death in Sandy's hands is suffering")

Just pop that album in your player, mix up several gallons of something alcoholic with something else alcoholic, and prepare to never get up again. Now, remember, keep it snarky, keep it disgusting, and always keep it without pity.

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Apprentice: Martha

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