Apprentice: Martha
Apprentice: Martha

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C- | 422 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Flow it out your ass!

The Matches are having their own set of typical problems. At Crate & Barrel, Bethenny the Banana Bitch bitches, "I'm pissed because I didn't get my time to go shopping today. I'm not happy." She stands at a counter with a serious wad of cash and flips through a catalog. Bethenny complesses that she's responsible for choosing every piece of furniture for every single room, "I think the time was managed absolutely poorly by Leslie. This was nine o'clock at night, so I had four minutes to buy the major pieces of furniture." We then watch Bethenny fire demands at a Crate & Barrel employee and make instant decisions. Leslie confesses that Bethenny is "always going about nine hundred miles an hour -- she's like one big spaz, but she was a superstar in getting all these things in about eight minutes." Yeah, she saved a small piece of your ass, which should have been fired as a part of the brainstorming session. They leave Crate & Barrel.

Hateful Jim, Dawn, Internet David, and Leslie go to a hardware store. Hateful Jim clowns around with a pair of sunglasses. Fire him. Marcela phones them to tell them that the contractors stopped working at midnight and that they left notes, saying that the only way to finish on time was to paint some of the rooms themselves. Hateful Jim flings his hand out in disgust. Dawn expresses her disapproval of the plan, and it really doesn't sound like she's the only one to do it. Dawn complesses that she was pissed and there was no way she was going to stay up all night painting. Okay, Dawn, I've been your supporter all along, but here is where you've gotta suck it up. I know that Leslie wasted way too much time and got the team into this painting mess as a result, but given that you've been scapegoated through so many tasks, it would have been much smarter if you just did the paint job and then pointed out how lousy Leslie was later instead of giving the team yet another reason to align against you. At 2:15 AM, we see Matchstick painting. We see a tired-looking Dawn sitting...somewhere. See, given that it's a close-up and she's now wearing a totally different sweater than the one we saw her wearing in the hardware store, it's sort of hard for me to believe that it's even the same night, and the "Dawn, you don't want to paint?" dubbed over the scene doesn't go far to convince me. Leslie complesses, "Dawn is just confrontational and Dawn's lazy -- she's probably the laziest person in the entire loft." Yeah, she's "confrontational" because she called you on your ass-poor time-management skills.

Apprentice: Martha

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