Apprentice: Martha
Apprentice: Martha

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C- | 422 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Flow it out your ass!

Matchstick. They're pretty well complete, but Charles asks the pertinent question, "Where does somebody sit?" Bethenny explains that the couches, end tables, and a sectional sofa are coming soon. Charles and Alexis leave. Matchstick cleans. Leslie says that two hours before the Westin execs were due, she hears Bethenny screaming into the phone in their office. The delivery truck can't seem to find where the pick-up place is. Bethenny bellows to someone, "I need you to get my driver outta there as soon as possible -- I need this furniture in forty-five minutes." Leslie is pissed. Fifteen minutes before the execs arrive and still no furniture. The driver tells Bethenny he'll be there in seven minutes. Matchstick runs down to the loading dock. No delivery man, no furniture.

Primarius. The Westin execs arrive with their focus group and examine the suite. Amanda explains everything in the suite and even points out their huge flat-screen TV with surround sound. One of the Westin execs/focus groupies comments, "I think maybe that the highest compliment that can be paid is that it doesn't look like a hotel." Everyone nods.

Matchstick. The Matches complain about the lack of seats in their suite. Hateful Jim confesses, "Bethenny asked me if we have a chance and I'm thinking to myself, 'No couchie, no winnie.'" Leslie waits for the Westin execs/focus groupies in the suite. We can see that they've tossed pillows onto the floor. "I know what's wrong with that room -- we don't have a freakin' couch! I'm essentially selling air," Leslie complesses. In her presentation, Leslie bullshits, "We talked to a lot of consumers like you and said, 'What is it you really want?' and we heard folks who said what our new concept is: F-L-O-W. For Leisure or Work -- it's your choice." Hey, they didn't talk to consumers at all! She should be fired just for being such a liar. Martha went to JAIL for being a liar. "And so we didn't put in, you know, a lot of big, fluffy sofas because you expect that." Of course you do -- you EXPECT to have something to, like, sit on! Now, I can see how work might be facilitated in a place where you either get to sit at a desk or on the floor, but what's leisurely about not having couches to relax on? Leslie continues, "We made everything simple and hidden because we didn't want complexity." Wouldn't it be more complex if things are hidden and you have to go look for them? "Instead here we're focusing on zero gravity," Leslie adds. Okay, what? They're on the Enterprise now? One of the execs says it reminds him of his first apartment out of college when he couldn't afford furniture. Everyone laughs. Leslie presses her lips together in a thin smile. Couch Baron could NEVER stay in a suite like that.

Apprentice: Martha

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