Apprentice: Martha
Sweet Suite

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Keckler: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Flow it out your ass!

Next day. Julia calls the loft to tell them to join Alexis and Charles in the conference room that morning. We watch the (im)Clones get ready. Because Howie has evidently lost all use of his hands, Hateful Jim ties Howie's tie. I think he's trying to get a good look at where the nectar of the gods might flow from, so he can get his chalice from the palace ready. The teams arrive in the conference room, and Alexis greets them, sounding as tired as I feel. Martha blips onto a video screen and says good morning. "I'm here at Turkey Hill Road -- this is my old farmhouse." Yeah, your multi-million dollar, edged in gold, spangled with rubies "old" farmhouse. Martha continues, "I'm working on a project, so I won't be able to be in the city to see you in person." Yeah, Project HOUSE ARREST! Martha goes on that her house was the product of a vision that she and her husband had back when the world was young. The house was falling apart, and together, they saved it and made it into something beautiful. Sadly, as hard as it was to save the house, saving their marriage was even harder. That deep thought came from me, not Martha. Martha announces that in conjunction with a Westin Hotel marketing scheme that has something to do with renewing the body, mind, and spirit of their guests, each team will be given a suite to renovate with a particular theme in mind. "A lifestyle suite," Martha explains, "could be devoted to exercise. It can be devoted to love, but you have to have a vision!" Their judges will be Westin executives and Platinum Members of their Preferred Guests program. Martha reminds Matchstick of how dysfunctional they are and says that she's come up with a scheme for them. However, Charles and Alexis will have to discuss it with them since her anklet is telling her she's been in the fresh air long enough.

Alexis asks Primarius who among them thinks they are the strongest team leader. Everyone raises their hands, grinning. Matchstick leans over to look at them, and every single one of them is smiling except Bethenny, who has her Banana Bitchface firmly in place. Maybe she accidentally ate some flour that morning. Charles asks who of them thinks they can lead Matchstick to victory on the next task. They all lower their hands and look at each other. Finally, Leslie raises her hand. Charles invites her to join Matchstick, telling the damp Matches that they are fortunate to have someone who is willing to take a chance for them. He adds that all of them at MSLO appreciate someone who is brave enough to take such a risk. "So, Charles and I and Martha expect great things from you on your next task," Alexis adds. Do you think she calls her mother "Martha" to her face? I wouldn't be surprised. The teams disperse. Leslie brags that she knew if anyone could pull of the feat of leading Matchstick to victory, it would be her. With Bobbie Spencer so concerned with stalking Scottie, Matchstick is SO going to lose. Amanda confesses that she doesn't know why Leslie "felt prompted to speak up, but everyone was sort of smiling because Leslie was not one of our strongest players and I think the fact that she left didn't really hurt us at all, so we were pleased." Maybe Leslie "felt prompted to speak up" because it was clear no one else would.

Primarius checks out their unfinished suite and gets excited. Amanda takes control of the group and they start brainstorming their "vision." They hit on an "Entertaining" theme where guests can watch movies, play games, and even have access to caterers. Sounds like the perfect place for a recappers' summit. Amanda underlines the face that they "quickly" came up with their vision. Carrie, announcing that she works with colors a lot, presents some color swatches that she thinks will work well in the suite. It looks like she's got soft maroon, grey-ish teal, and a mustard yellow. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't trust color advice from someone who thinks the British flag is acceptable winter wear. Amanda confesses that whatever Carrie was trying to prove, she wanted a professional design, not something that five executives baked up. Amanda pretty much steamrolls over Carrie in the meeting, who takes back her color swatches and pinches her lips together in such a way that brings her chin and nose together really unattractively.

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Apprentice: Martha

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