You know that prodding trick that chefs employ to test whether meat is rare, medium, or well done? Well, when you press on my hand, it oozes. What does that mean? Are you still hungry?
Martha's Good Thing o' the Week: What is the importance of branding? When it comes to cattle? Meat. When it comes to frat boys? Mean. When it comes to Martha? Meal ticket. "I'm Martha Stewart," She-Who-Must-Brand tells us, "but I am also a well-known brand." And a well-known ex-con. "When my name is on something, people know it stands for quality," Martha brags. Yeah. Or it's a news article talking about how your stock is in the pooper. But hey, it's quality poop.
Dawna is PM again, which once again makes her PM Dawna. Hee. Matchstick brainstorms and Ryan grins, "I got it! I got it! Build a blouse with [BLEEP!]." What did he say? Given that Ryan said they would make it "gender-specific" and PM Dawna's reaction that they shouldn't be thinking dirty and pornographic, I'm thinking he said "jizz." It didn't look like he said "shit," and let's face it, that would be more scatologically fetishistic than pornographic. Plus I don't know how it would get on a blouse. Thanks to Monica Lewinsky, we do know how the former could get on a blouse. Ryan rebounds with another idea to set up a boxing ring on the truck and create a superhero who "knocks out stains." Remember that: "knocks out stains." Okay? The team loves it. Alexis arrives in her denim jacket and says that she was about to come in, but then thought, "Hm, maybe I won't." But then she came in, so...? What? Was she afraid they'd make fun of her Sixteen Candles Lee Jeans jacket? Because I'm gonna. They tell Alexis their idea of Ryan being "the Tide guy" who fights the coffee stains on a chick's blouse. Ryan exhales loudly and does lunges by the table, which only serves to remind me of Joey going commando and putting on all of Chandler's clothes.
Matchstick calls in their graphic designer and designs a cartoon pen superhero guy. This show is so lame.
Primarius wastes more time in quiet desperation. Sarah leaves and Bethennnnnny takes the opportunity to bitch about their lack of a plan. Howie and Bethenny take it upon themselves to call up acrobatic street performers to "create buzz" around their truck. Sarah walks back in, hears her bees buzzing, and is happy. Hateful Jim says something about how they've got stuff started, but it still could end up being a fiasco. Way to hedge your bets, Hateful. He reminds Sarah that they really haven't done much to SHOW the product and is she aware of that? "YES!" Sarah retorts, not looking directly at him.