Apprentice: Martha
Swimming Against The Tide

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Buzz Kill

Matchstick calls in their graphic designer and designs a cartoon pen superhero guy. This show is so lame.

Primarius wastes more time in quiet desperation. Sarah leaves and Bethennnnnny takes the opportunity to bitch about their lack of a plan. Howie and Bethenny take it upon themselves to call up acrobatic street performers to "create buzz" around their truck. Sarah walks back in, hears her bees buzzing, and is happy. Hateful Jim says something about how they've got stuff started, but it still could end up being a fiasco. Way to hedge your bets, Hateful. He reminds Sarah that they really haven't done much to SHOW the product and is she aware of that? "YES!" Sarah retorts, not looking directly at him.

While Carrie instructs the team that she needs receipts -- because she's the ACCOUNTANT, Y'ALL -- Sarah sends Bethennonnynonny and Howie to the "prop house" to get ideas. In the van, Bethennalia bitches to Howie about how much Sarah sucks. In the prop house, Howie sees some red boxing gloves that happen to be very prominently displayed and asks, "Stupid, prop-ish, but let me know what you think: knocks out stains or what?" Oh MY GOD! Did you see what they did there? They prompted both teams to have the SAME FREAKIN' IDEA! Can you imagine how this is going to play out, since I don't in any way believe that Mark Burnett or any of his minions had something to do with planting the prop or idea in their heads?! Cynical, take-out for one! Howie asks Sarah what she thinks about the "'knock out stains' idea." "I don't know," Sarah Dubyas, turning to Dick "Carrie" Cheney, "there's a pair of big boxing gloves to knock out stains -- do I wanna get that?" Carrie shakes her head and then orders Halliburton to make Primarius a pair of red boxing gloves that may or may not be used to knock out Iraq. Oops. I believe I meant stains there. Colin Howell laments the loss of the boxing gloves. And then he leaks his discontent to Woodward.

Bethennnnnnnnnnnnnny bitches to Howie some more about how screwed they are for not having an organized plan.

Hateful Jim helps the graphic designer on their team, and Sarah is proud of him. Later, Hateful Jim looks on and checks his watch in scenery-chewing disgust as Sarah and Carrie are shown to diddle their time away over the federal deficit. In his confessional, Hateful Jim -- once again succeeding in losing his hateful voice -- says that Carrie is doing "busywork" and that it's getting them nowhere. I'd like to get YOU nowhere! I'm sorry, but I'm in severe pain and being forced to recap Hateful Jim's many Norma Desmond moments is way more than my mental state can handle right now.

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Apprentice: Martha




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