Apprentice: Martha
Apprentice: Martha

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B+ | 555 USERS: B-
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Return of the Jimedi

Such a celebration erupted in my house with Hateful Jim's firing that it calls for a special, celebratory drink. It's simple, it's a favorite, and it's appropriate.

Kir Royale Pain in the Ass

1 oz. crème de Cassis
Chilled Champagne or sparkling grape juice (that one's for you, legaleagle44!)
Lemon twist

The Shake:
Pour the thick ruby crème de Cassis into a Champagne glass. Top with the chilled Champagne (or grape juice), add the lemon twist, and just keep them coming.

Bethenny slumps on the couch as Dawna says, "I want to go to sleep so bad, but I want to see who comes through the door." Elsewhere, Hateful Jim sleeps the sleep of the soon-to-be-OUSTED! Close-ups of clocks ticking, ticking, ticking, into the future. Supposedly, it is now just past midnight, and the two girls wonder what is taking so long. It's been over three hours. Finally, Hateful Jim wanders in and notes that Ryan and Marcela are still not back. He suggests the possibility that both of them got sent home. Bethenny and Dawna finally get it and go to bed in a state of high excitement that they are the only three left.

The next morning, the Marthaphone orders the (im)Clones to come out to her Connecticut studios dressed in business suits. The trio goes all the way out to Connecticut in order to be personally told by Martha that they now have to go aaalllll the way back to New York to be interviewed by her Top People: Susan Lyne, Martha's President and CEO of Martha Stewart Omnimedia (she could totally be Martha's Saddam double, by the way. Even Miles O'Brien was fooled); Jonathan Chernes, Senior Vice President of Retail Merchandizing; Gael Towey, Chief Creative Officer; and Margaret Roach (a horribly apt name for someone who also looks like she's auditioning for the role of Frau Farbissina in the next Austin Powers movie), Editorial Director of Publications. They are excused, and Hateful Jim can't even leave a room properly. He makes a "hi!" face and even does a double-take as though someone was wanting to call him back. Hateful? No one ever wants to call you back. Stop it. He confessionals that with the exception of marrying his wife, today is the most important day of his life. And this one won't even require a human sacrifice! Also, wouldn't having the first and second kid actually be more important than this interview? Oh, wait, he wasn't there for the second kid's birth, so I guess not.

Apprentice: Martha

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