Apprentice: Martha
Apprentice: Martha

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Keckler: B+ | 555 USERS: B-
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Return of the Jimedi

Back in New York, the candidates begin the interviews. Hateful Jim sits down with Jonathan Chernes, who he calls "Mr. Chernes" even though the guy can't be more than thirty-seven, and tries to talk coherently. Chernes asks him why he would want to hire Hateful Jim. "Frankly, the reason why I'm here is that I need more..." Hateful Jim's answer trails off as we move to Dawna telling Towey about her wins and how she would put her expertise to work in the media division. Dawna confessionals, "I hate to say that I'm a better candidate than Jim or Bethenny, but I am definitely more professional and I think I could hit the ground running where they wouldn't be able to." What with her previous comments about wanting a good and fair fight and now being reluctant to say that she's better than Bethenny and Hateful Jim, they are definitely setting her up to be the lily-white Apprentice Angel. Bethenny is telling Frau Roach that she's on her third career and is a natural foods chef. Frau Roach asks her how she would describe the Martha brand. "I mean, clean, and I don't know, it's what I love -- I mean, I love that," Bethenny babbles, impressive in her total flubberment of her answer. Bethenny defends herself in a confessional by saying that she's never had a corporate interview, but she thinks she's great because she is always herself and her self is creative. Bethenny's extremely non-corporate yet creative cleavage tells Gael Towey that she is a passionate person. Susan Lyne wants to know if there's anything Hateful Jim regrets about the past twelve weeks. Hateful Jim thinks. Susan Lyne puts on her glasses in the apparent silence, and writes down, "No regrets" above "Mistakes -- get too excited" in her notes. Lyne brings up what Hateful Jim said at their Four Seasons dinner about having a strategy for playing The Game, and tells him that his admission really disturbed her. "Sure," Hateful Jim says, but before he can say anything else, we get these unfortunately EXTREME close-ups of all the interviewers' mouths firing questions. Did they all go in on a group teeth-whitening package or something? Because I'm blinded over here. Also, I learned more about Towey, Lyne, and Roach's lip-waxing habits than I ever cared to know. We see the Chernes mouth ask, "Why are you the right candidate and why not the other two?" Hateful Jim responds, "Five years from now, I see myself flourishing in this company as a great oak, you know? I mean, I feel I'm a sapling now. I feel I need to be schooled and watered and --" We fade out of Hateful Jim's last, final, Waterloo-y Hateful Jim Metaphor Break, where HE'S become the oak instead of being the one to "fell the mighty oak." More montaging of the (im)Clones answering questions. It's not interesting until Hateful Jim says, "I use my concept to seek beauty, to pull truth out of what I see. It's very abstract." Chernes speaks for the entire universe when he says, "I have no idea what that means." "Okay," Hateful Jim says, "I would say that I am the worst candidate to work for Martha Stewart Living despite --" "You're the 'worst' candidate?" Chernes clarifies. Hateful Jim repeats, "I'm the worst candidate to work for Martha Stewart Living except for all the other candidates that are applying for this job." So, the little martinet thinks he's Winston Churchill now? Gah. "It's an easy job," Hateful Jim chortles, holding up air quotes. "That is not true," Chernes tells him. "No, it's not true," Hateful Jim giggles. Chernes tells him Crazy Hour is over; that's all the insanity they have time for today.

Apprentice: Martha

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