"Well, Bethenny, you're spunky, you're a show-off, you feel you have to make a physical impression [is that a comment on her frequently present dinners?], which is really not terribly necessary at Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia. Dawna, you are clearly a talented manager, and we could always use someone with your business acumen at Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia," Martha not-really-hedges. Bethenny's mouth is a tight line; Dawna is smiling big. "And I would like to offer you the job [right here there should have been thunderous applause and screamings, but Martha sucks with pauses and delivery] of my [now comes the applause] Apprentice." ["'Of my Apprentice'? Was that hiring line translated from the German? Way to phrase it so it's confusing and an anticlimax -- although I guess that fits with the show as a whole. This is why I can't believe Martha got renewed; she's just such a stiff all the time." -- Sars] Bethenny pats Dawna on the back, and Dawna grins happily. They hug, and we cut to Dawna's thrilled family. Dawna goes to hug Martha and Charles, and to be kissed by Alexis. On the cheek, people -- Marcela is the one she wants to tongue. Dawna then hugs her teammates, although, strangely enough, Ryan is the first to hug her and he wasn't even a teammate on her final task. Bethenny hangs back a bit and no one seems to pay her any notice.

Martha calls Dawna to attention and tells her she will be working at Body + Soul magazine out of the Boston area. Martha then tells us that if we really want to help Dawna be a success, we can subscribe at a special rate. Always with the commercials on this show! We now get a video of what Dawna's job really will entail. After telling us how great the magazine is and crap, we learn Dawna will join the staff of Body + Soul as developmental director. She will be responsible for working with national advertisers and marketing teams and will help the magazine grow into an even bigger business. Martha says they are looking for fresh, new ideas for living whole and living well. If I just want to live half or a quarter, can I get a better subscription rate too?