Apprentice
A Lonely Drive

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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The angry young man

Meanwhile, at Madison Square Garden, it's time for my least favorite part of the show: the reward. Tana acts happy, but given the awkwardness with which she says the words "Penny Hardaway," she doesn't care. Trump arrives with Melania, and Isaiah Thomas is introduced as "a winner." Trump is sent over to shoot a free throw, and on what I suspect is Take 816, he sinks it. Thomas puts Magna through a passing drill, at which they suck. This entire thing, particularly the part where they're running suicides, serves only as a backdrop for Kendra's big speech about how she's been laying back for twelve weeks, but this is where she'll make her big move. Metaphor: She's way ahead in the suicides! Get it? DO YA? She says that this is her "time to shine," and that now, she's "a force to be reckoned with." She hangs from the basket with her feet waggling. Adorable.

Net Worth prepares to go to the Boardroom. Alex packs his suitcase with...his Bible? His copy of The Wealth Of Nations? His big fat journal? No idea. Bren tells us that he originally was happy to be picked for Net Worth, figuring that he'd go over to a losing team and turn it around. Didn't go down that way, quite. Bren and Alex have the following conversation on the balcony, and you don't even need to know who says what: "Buddy, it's been great, man." "It's all good, bro." "Love you, dude." "Love you, bro." "You're a good man." "You're a great man." [Insincere hug.] "All right, let's go cut each other's hearts out." "I know, let's slit each other's throats." "[Self-satisfied chuckle.]" Do guys really do that? Y'all are so weird. That's at least as goofy as going to the bathroom in groups, so I don't want to hear another word. Elsewhere, Chris puts on his Tie of Portent as he interviews that he really thinks he's "somewhat of a brilliant young man," and he's sort of surprised that he can't stop losing. I don't think he should be that surprised.

Ding! They get off the elevator and wheel their rolly-cases through the lobby. They sit in the Boardroom across from George and Carolyn, and then Trump is upon us. "I've seen so much of you two," he says to Chris and Alex, and then he adds, "Especially Chris." Ow. He mentions to Chris that this is seven losses in a row, which it turns out Chris has noticed. Trump asks Bren whether these guys brought him down. "Absolutely," Bren says. Asked why, Bren tells Trump that the team wasn't creative, and the brochure wasn't compelling. Trump, showing his newfound fondness for props in the Boardroom (not that kind of props), brandishes the two brochures. He rubs the team's nose in the fact that the Magna brochure was so nifty that Pontiac wants to use it. And then Trump throws the Net Worth brochure at them, so that it lands in front of Chris with a sharp "thwack" on the table. Chris agrees that the design of the Magna brochure is great, but defends the pictures he has as equally good.

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Apprentice

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