Apprentice
A Lonely Drive

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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The angry young man

At Net Worth, Chris tells Bren that he's going to write all the text, and Bren says it will take all night to write. And then, in possibly my favorite part of the episode -- and maybe the season -- Chris goes to move his rolly-chair and dumps himself on his ass. Oh, guys falling down. That just never gets old, it really doesn't, especially in a season this grim. More slapstick, please! I would also accept girl-fighting and the throwing of pies. Alex and Bren appropriately laugh. Bren then asks whether the boys think the other team will "pull an all-nighter." He says "most assuredly not," and slams Craig and Tana for not even understanding the concept of all-nighters. Chris predicts that Craig will be "passed out at, like, 2:30."

At 2:30, Craig is looking very sleepy. Tana is telling Craig that the two of them both know they can't stay up all night. She says her throat hurts. Aw, her throat! She interviews that Kendra says the task will take all night, and she'll just "drink four more cups of coffee." "Well, guess what?" Tana rhetorically interviews. "I don't drink coffee." She says, "My comfort level is, I like to get my ass in bed around one. Her comfort level is probably she wants us to stay till 6:00 AM. So I have no problem saying, 'Honey, I know I did a damn good job. I'm exempt. My ass isn't going anywhere. So good night, God bless." And...she sucks. It's hard to even convey how condescending and superior Tana acts during this interview, except to stress the fundamentally asshole quality conveyed in her statement about how she doesn't care about the task because she's exempt. You're supposed to want to win because you care about winning, and when people bail simply because they won't be fired themselves, it's exactly like throwing the task and sandbagging the PM -- it's a fundamentally pussy maneuver, and you ought to be embarrassed by it. You're telling me you can't stay up past 1:00 if your job requires it? You're telling me you expect to remain in your "comfort level" at all times, even when you're on deadline? Well, dear, get yourself a nice 9:00 to 5:00 office job, because for most people with very much responsibility, life isn't always like that. "Comfort level." Pfft.

At any rate, Tana tells Kendra that she and Craig "shut down early," and Craig says he objects to staying up "just to be staying up." Kendra answers, by way of explaining why she'd rather they stayed, "I'm the kind of person that really respects my teammates' opinions, and I enjoy doing things as a team." Craig comes back: "I'm not convinced that what you just said is true yet, so." Kendra looks stung as Craig wraps up with a non-heartfelt, non-helpful, passive-aggressive "It's all good." Ooh, I hate that. Tana says that Craig is trying to say that "what he wants to see is some vision of your magazine experience, your publication experience." Which is absolutely not what Craig said, nor is it what Craig was trying to say. Craig was trying to say "fuck you," which is pretty much what he said, so Tana can butt out or speak for herself, but she doesn't need to restate "fuck you" as "we would like to see more manifestations of your publication experience." Kendra swallows hard and says that she at least appreciates the honesty. "While," she adds, "I'm extremely offended by it." She leaves, and Tana cackles to herself, because really hurting somebody's feelings is just about the most fuckin' hilarious thing that can happen. That is a lady who badly needs to be brought down a couple of pegs at some point, because she has become intolerably full of herself in a very short time. Kendra interviews that she felt like Tana told her that because she has experience, she has to do the whole thing herself. Which I don't think is what Tana meant, but it's kind of how it came off, because of the attitude. "If that's what it has to take to get the job done and to win," Kendra interviews as we watch Craig and Tana head home, "that's what I'm going to do."

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