MONDO EXTRAS

In her bonus interview, however, Ereka almost makes up for how much I despise her by being genuinely hilarious, going on and on about how the men aren't "being true to themselves" and they're "screwed up." By which she means, "Boy, they kicked my shrimpy ass, huh?" She calls Nick a "dud" and makes some big deal about being able to tell that Boyfriend Bill was nervous in the Boardroom. Like, who cares, crazy lady? If your hands shake, it really doesn't matter as long as you can cover effectively. Trust me, I know. Ereka loves Amy, Katrina, Heidi, and Kwame, and will miss them. Oh, and Assorama, who she totally loves. Just kidding.

The next task involved the art world. Once again, though, it had to start with VersaCorp taking somebody to even the teams, and the selectee was -- again -- Amy. Trump thought the teams were getting maybe a little excessive in their love of Amy. I think Amy sometimes has the same problem. The task was to pick an artist whose artwork they could sell in a gallery. VersaCorp selected a "safe" painter, meaning "one with no visible mental illnesses." Protégé? Did not. They chose Meghan, the kind of painter who makes you never want to share an apartment with anyone who claims to be artistic, because who wants to try to nuke a Lean Cuisine next to a picture of a world ruled by frogs and their concubines? Heidi and Assorama argued about stopping for lunch while they were planning the art show. There was much swearing on Heidi's part, and much sneering condescension from Assorama. Kwame sat on the Space Communicator, listening to the women argue. Troy hypothesized that if Assorama didn't get the chance to eat soon, she might call the president. Hee. As I so often find myself saying...oh, Troy. If I didn't already have an imaginary boyfriend who has no idea and shall never have any idea that I exist, I might have a space available for you. (Okay, yes, I have several. NOT THE POINT. ["You'd also have to get in line behind me, but I suppose that's not the point either. Heh. Hi, Troy! Call me!" -- Sars]) At the gallery shows, VersaCorp did very well and sold eight pieces for about $13,600. Protégé, however, stalled under the leadership of Kwame and the artistic bafflement of Troy -- who, to his credit, did his best to act like he had some clue as to why the skull of Henry VIII was important. They sold only one piece, for $869. It was sold by Assorama, but this fact turned out not to be determinative. Heidi tells us that the team just chose the wrong artist. In the Boardroom, Assorama and Heidi argued some more about lunch, the delay over lunch, and Assorama's horror at the fact that Heidi swears, like...well, not really like a sailor, just kind of like a pissed-off lady who spends too much time in meetings. Which, I think, is kind of what she is. Not happy about the lunch argument and not at all happy about excuses, Trump sent Assorama home, and the universe heaved a sigh of relief, because had her behavior been rewarded, it was going to be forced to implode, which is a huge pain in the ass. For, you know, the universe to do. In her bonus interview, Assorama says that she "played the game well" and has "no regrets." Well, sure. Given the opportunity to choose losing again, she would gladly do so. She points out that she "can do whatever [she sets] her mind to." Well, except...you know, winning.