MONDO EXTRAS

In other introductory news, I still love the part where Amy says she used to be "worth millions." Paper, dear. When it's all paper, you're not worth millions. The biggest asshole of the intros is Jason, who proudly says, "If they're one day late on rent, I start the eviction process, because that affects my cash flow." It's not just the fact that he jumps on the eviction process quickly that grates -- it's the fact that he does it with such glee. He's awfully young to have determined that the most fun you can have with your clothes on is screwing the less fortunate. Trump gruffly tells Jason that "you also have to have heart." Jason looks stumped. Nick reminds us that he's from "Los Angeles, California, via Bayonne, New Jersey." What the hell is with Bayonne, anyway? It's a veritable reality show contestant factory. Heidi introduces herself as "Heidi from Philadelphia," which explains why I thought she was from Philadelphia. Jessie reminds us that at seventeen, she started a marketing company. She reveals that she does, in fact, own a farm, and is not living off of football. Tammy says she's thirty-six, which makes her older than Carolyn. Interesting, huh? Sam, of course, tells Trump that he's crazy. Well, that Sam is crazy, that is, not that Trump is crazy. Although either would work, and Sam admittedly doesn't say it in quite those words.

The teams are divided boy-girl, and they're told about selecting PMs. Remember how they went to the suite, and the women named themselves Protégé, and the men named themselves VersaCorp? Then it was off to the New York Stock Exchange, where they learned they would sell lemonade. Trump insists that the men had a "terrible location," and David's methods were unconventional, if by "unconventional," you mean "criminal, according to many definitions." Sam tried to sell lemonade for a thousand dollars a cup, because...well, did I mention "crazy"? The women, meanwhile, were "smarter," according to Trump, because they just found themselves a good location and sold lemonade the old-fashioned way -- by offering kisses to go with it. The women won the task. Yay, free love! (Not "free," technically, but hey, at least it comes with lemonade.) The men went to the Boardroom, where Troy took David and Sam to the Boardroom, and Sam made a really weird speech and thanked Trump for telling him to shut up. David said he wasn't so good at sales. Sam sucked up so hard that he turned himself inside out. David, on the other hand, had done nothing and admitted he knew of nothing he could have done. Not the most inspiring moment of self-defense in reality show history. So he was gone. Bye, David!