MONDO EXTRAS

Trump explains that one of these five will be put in charge of one of his companies. And tonight, we will be reviewing "highlights," the "low points" (I never even noticed before that when yelling at Wes, Maria was wearing a shirt that said "EDGY," and indeed, that is a low point, at least for Maria), and "never-before-seen moments." Wow, one is going to involve Andy and Wes confiding in each other in bed? This might be a better clip show than I thought. Trump promises that he'll be giving "some insight" about the firings, so apparently, he is bringing in an insight consultant for the hour. As he tells us that we will get a "sneak peek" at what's still to come, we see polo, chocolate bars, and basketball. I didn't know polo existed outside the world of irony, where it is useful for mocking the rich. Of course, a year ago, I could have said the same thing about Donald Trump.

Credits. In case you want to steal the identity of the hundred-dollar bill that's used in the credit sequence, its serial number is AL 49170630B L12. I hate it when the media doesn't guard sensitive information. That bill will never have any peace.

Try to remember the kind of September when life was slow and made of Jell-O...or something. We see Trump welcome the candidates, who look really happy about all this, because they haven't really met each other yet, and they can't see Maria blinking, and they haven't noticed Stacy is even there. In his Pink Tie of Truth, he certainly did make an impression on that day, and the impression was, "No, seriously, do you think it's his real hair, or do you think it's a rug?" He reminds us that the teams were divided into men versus women, because it's easier to pick out the hottest chicks when you keep the women in one place. And he gave exemptions, because you have to constantly change the rules of a game, even if it worked really well the last time. Hockey wouldn't be in so much trouble right now if it had gotten rid of goalies and introduced my greatest idea: puck cannons.