Apprentice
Apprentice

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Jacob Clifton: B- | 592 USERS: B-
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Lesson Eight: Horatio Alger Is Mother Goose For Weasels

Andrea interviews an impressive amount of both insight and scary craziness: "People are like, you're a total control freak, that 's such a weakness and I'm like, 'Really? Because I have a really nice life, and it's because I'm in control of everything that I do, and I like it, so it's not a problem for me.'" I really hope nothing bad ever happens to her. Like, really bad, the kind of control-taking-away badness that God specializes in, because there will be nothing left but rubble if she loses grip. The team continues to brainstorm: cups or drink paraphernalia would encourage people to get a drink at the same time, so they'd increase revenues that way. Smart. Andrea: "You know what, actually? I'm letting you know right now it is hats." Beat. "...Okay?" They all look at each other, because she is a crazy person. Which undoubtedly she is, but that doesn't make me angry, it makes me laugh. And what I'm seeing is a lot of actual anger towards her, and it freaks me out, because she's not a bad person. She seems nice, a little socially weak, a little selfish and only-childy, a huge sense of unshakeable rightness in her actions. Just like every other person here. I think she's getting an asshole edit, which is fine because she's an asshole, but I also think there's a fair amount of semiotics getting encoded here: People, Trump included perhaps, think that Martha Stewart sucks, right? Too much money, too intimidating, too clenchy. So I think that this stuff is specifically intended to make us hate Andrea, because nobody likes to see a woman in control to such a degree, do they? She's so brittle and manly and ball-busting, isn't she? Just like Martha? With cobwebs in her uterus and all that? Virago, Clytemnestra, Lady MacBeth. Maybe some vestigial testicles tucked up somewhere? Because a man who acted like this, he'd be quite a man, wouldn't he? Not a bully, right, just firm? Bryce still has apologists, and he was one of the lamer candidates ever on this show, but he flashed the man cards and showed his cred, so he's gold. Because God knows gay men on TV can't fucking catch a break -- we're all very aware of what masculinity looks like on TV. It looks like Andrea. She'd make such a good man! But what a terrible excuse for a woman! Why, she looks like Marilyn Manson! Yeah! She's a horror movie! What a bitch! Who could ever love her?

Apprentice

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