A Tale Of Two Leaders

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Dumb as a (cop) rock

Apex visits the Boardroom, dragging suitcases behind them. When Trump gets into the room, he asks Elizabeth what went wrong. She says that they didn't have a good idea before they had to start shooting. Trump asks her if that's her fault, and she says it's the whole team's fault, really. Trump asks her if she thinks she was a good leader, and she says she thinks a good leader is a person who "stands by their convictions." She says that she chose not to go forward with "a generic campaign [she] didn't believe in," and she doesn't do that. She says that she "swung for the fences," borrowing shamelessly from Deutsch's speech to the teams last year about how he likes to see campaigns done. Unfortunately, her campaign was far, far too wishy-washy for that argument. Nice try, though. Heh. Trump pumps up the pain by screening the ad in the Boardroom, which...yeah, it still blows. "It's pretty bad," Carolyn says. Another bad Trump voice-over (can we do anything about that? Is it possible at all?) says, "Wow, based on that, I feel I live in a police state." He then makes a dumb-ass comment about how this will keep the wives from telling their husbands to join. Trump asks if it was really Raj who wanted this approach, and if he "shoved it down [Elizabeth's] throat." Raj jumps in, saying that he advocating going full-on with whatever they did, and Trump says, in a quote I suspect of being lifted from elsewhere, "I love what you're saying, because if you believe that, you should say it." Raj goes on to say that his idea was the only idea available, and that was the reason he advocated it. Which is bullshit, because when Elizabeth expressed reservations about it and wanted to keep talking, he told her all about how unfounded her concerns were. He never said, "We don't have anything better." He said, "Any concerns you have about my idea are wrong." So this is bullshit.

And then Jen, setting a record for zero-to-hate in one week, jumps in about how Raj did a great job with the task, and "actually took a position," and blah dee blah. Of course, the bad blood between her and Elizabeth goes back some weeks, so there you go. Chris jumps in as well, arguing that this was the only direction available. He leaves out the part where he said the thing about the tampon commercial. Ivana, parroting someone else as she does every single week, says that she would "commend Raj for actually taking a position." "Is she weak and ineffective, or is she just weak?" Trump asks. I don't even understand that question. Is there "weak but effective"? Is that a choice? Ivana says that Elizabeth was both weak and ineffective. Wow, surprising. Jennifer, asked for her opinion, just parrots what Trump just said, calling Elizabeth "weak and ineffective" (original!), as well as indecisive and some other stuff. "Other than that, you thought she was great," Trump says sarcastically. "Other than that, I thought she was terrible," Jen says, totally unnecessarily, because obviously, Trump got it. Now, she's just being a bitch. Trump asks Elizabeth why everybody else seems to think she's incompetent. Elizabeth tries to answer, but he just turns back to Jen to ask her if she would say "incompetent." Eventually, Jen says yes. When Elizabeth points out that she tried to come up with something better, Kevin jumps in to tell the story of helping her come up with something better, and her changing her mind again. The Trump VO returns as he lectures Elizabeth about not letting her team change her mind for her in the middle of a task. Trump then says how everyone thinks she was so bad, and she -- correctly -- says that obviously, that's what they're going to say, because every one of them backed what turned out to be a terrible idea. "What the hell's missing with you, Elizabeth?" Trump asks her.

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