Apprentice
Apprentice

Episode Report Card
Potes: B- | 296 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
That's Entertainment(.com)!

Team Unanimous:
In the utter shock of my life, Aubrey and Arsenio totally talk things out like civilized adults. I know! I'm sure he'll be calling her a whore again by the end of the episode, but things appear to have calmed down. But wait! Like, one second later, Aubrey is pouting as everyone else tries to think up kicky slogans, and tells us that she will never like Arsenio. But the team manages come up with a pretty good commercial concept that involves cranky geriatric Paul being an old-school coupon cutter, whose wife and daughter (played by Aubrey) bring him into the future of mobile app coupons. Paul proves he is a stellar team player by agreeing to wear sleeves in the commercial. It's no wonder he's managed to get this far!

The team huddles and Clay outlines a script with some coupon-related double entendre. Just when you thought you couldn't make coupons sexy, leave it to Clay Aiken to bust out the line, "Aren't you glad we don't do it like your parents do it?" If Clay and I knew each other in real life, I have a feeling we'd just laugh and gossip and clutch at each other and drink Pinot noir and constantly harmonize to "On the Wings of Love." We'd get along, is what I'm saying. Anyway, commercial dad Paul will be listening outside his daughter's door (creepy) and thinking she's about to have sex with her boyfriend (creepy) and bust down the door (really creepy) only to find out they're just printing out Entertainment.com coupons or whatever (creepiest). I love it, until we hear the line, "Here, take it in your hand." TOO MUCH! Teresa agrees, and so the team will get rid of one or two of the dirtier bits. Hee, I said "bits."

Actors, a DP and hair and makeup come on the scene, and it's time for Paul to get reluctantly glammed up. He is trimmed and dyed and put into a button-down shirt and sweater, to hilarious effect. Teresa kind of wants to boff him, and Paul kind of wants to boff himself, even. The shoot begins, and Teresa enjoys directing, which she equates with simply telling people what to do. Paul requests that she say, "Action!" She does, and cracks herself up. Aubrey tells us that Teresa is a Muppet Baby, and people put their hands in her and tell her where to go and what to do. And...ew. I just got a very disturbing picture involving Juicy Joe Giudice that I'll never be able to get out of my head.

Apprentice

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