Apprentice
Airstream Of Consciousness

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When we return to the Love Palace, Stephanie wants to talk to Michael. She tells him that she thinks they'll probably be the ones taken to the final table, and assures him that she "can handle it." Michael insists in an interview that he's being scapegoated by his team on account of the fact that it sucks so hard, and that he therefore cannot trust anyone. Aw! It's sad when trust erodes in reality television. Moreover, Michael thinks his team is made up of "evil people." This is what happens, y'all, when you lose your Chief Morale Officer. Stephanie also snots to Michael that she will be bringing up the picking up dinner part, and I really hope that's not her whole plan, because if it is, she's going in quite unprepared. She seems to believe that she is aligning with Michael, but in fact, Michael interviews that he thinks Stephanie's crappy and negative attitude was the killer thing on the task. "That person with the worst attitude, which was Stephanie, will be fired," he assures us. And he, as the mini-Trump, should know.

Bren ties yet another bow tie as he prepares for the Boardroom. He says that he intends to be "a vicious, mean little son of a bitch." He insists that it's him or you, which means it's you, because it's not him, can you dig it?

Ding! Magna files into the Boardroom. An extraordinarily glum Trump walks in, looking like someone just ran over his gold-plated dog, and asks Bren where he thinks the team made its mistake. Bren says that he thinks they had a great concept and location, and that they were hosed by their marketing. (Read: STEPHANIE AND MICHAEL.) Bren also admits that their product was not as wild as what Net Worth came up with. Not much to do except own up to that one, I think. Bren calls a lack of creativity one of the team's weaknesses. Trump then moves on to asking the team, as he feels he must, whether it chaps their hyper-academic fannies to be losing to a bunch of non-degree-holding pipsqueaks. Bren says that he isn't happy about it, but he does think that the team has been getting its fanny handed to it in the area of creativity. Trump asks if it would help to have some of the Net Worthians on the team, and Bren says that it would. Trump then asks Bren whom he would dump from his team if he had the opportunity to dump two people and trade them to the other team. You will not be surprised to hear that he chooses Stephanie and Michael. And why? Because Michael isn't "a team player," which Michael tries to dispute by arguing that while Bren was sitting collecting money, he was out hustling. Bren can't help pointing out that Michael's version of hustling was to come back over and over to complain about how creepy it was for a guy to sell massages. Bren then throws in rather gratuitously that Michael walks around the suite saying he's the sexiest man there, so it's not clear why he couldn't sell massages. Not sure what it has to do with anything, but it does make Michael look stupid, so I guess I just answered my own question. Trump asks whether Michael really thinks that, as Stephanie and Erin and Jill make "whatever" faces.

Michael tries to turn it back on Bren by asking whether Bren really believes that it failed because he didn't hustle on the street enough. Given the small margin of victory, I think Bren could respectably have said yes. Bren hedges slightly, and says that Michael was part of the reason. Michael acts all scoffy, but Trump points out that there hasn't been a task for several weeks that Michael's team didn't think he biffed. Then Trump asks Bren why he would choose to boot Stephanie, and Bren calls out her negative attitude, adding that he thinks she spends her time trying to state her objections so she can disclaim responsibility later, rather than trying to actually win the task. You can almost hear the entire cast from last season being like, "Wait, are we not supposed to do that?" Asked for her opinion of Bren's leadership, Stephanie brings the word "okay" into the discussion. She claims that Bren has poor "time-management skills" and goes into her bitchfest about having to run dinner out to the team in Queens. Trump cuts her off, because she's boring, and he doesn't care about dinner, and he doesn't want to hear her bitch about it. So Trump asks Bren whether he thinks he's a leader. Bren says he does.

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Apprentice

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