Apprentice
Airstream Of Consciousness

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A bunch of pigeons waddle around on the ground next to the NASDAQ building in Times Square. I think it stands for how pigeons are like people flocking, and the teams have to...okay, never mind. It's a pigeon beauty shot.

Up in the L-Pal, Tana says that she would like to "put [her] hand in for being project manager on this one." Put her hand in? Wait, is it one-potato two-potato? Because that would actually be a good way to decide, and it would make as much sense as anything else they've tried. Tana explains that when Trump gave the assignment, she decided that she'd go for it as PM, because she knew that she needed to step up and show leadership. She also claims to have started many successful businesses, an assertion that always sits funny with me. I mean, I don't know if she seems old enough for multiple businesses in the sense of empire-building, so it's hard for that not to seem a little flaky. Anyway, Tara then suggests that they take a look at the trailers first, because once they do, some of their ideas might be clearly unworkable. The team gets ready to go as Tana interviews that the college people are too stuffy and are "pencil-neck geeks." Nice try, but I just don't think the "dull brainiac" label is going to stick to Magna after Cucumber Dick, the Homosexual Commercial. ["And I'll give anyone who can find any neck at all on Michael ten bucks." -- Sars] On the positive side, at least she left The Box out of it for the moment.

Over at Magna, Bren suggests they talk PM, and says that he's not sure whether being handed the credit card by Trump makes him the PM, but the team basically shrugs and agrees, because they don't care enough to argue about it, certainly. Especially not after he offers to step up to the plate. It's impossible not to trust a guy who uses sports metaphors. And while I'm frothing at the mouth generally, can I say something about stepping up to the plate? In actual baseball, when you "step up to the plate," it's because it's your turn. It's not an act of courage! That guy isn't willingly putting himself in harm's way. He's not ballsy; he's next. So can we stop using "step up to the plate" as some kind of synonym for "volunteer"? Because it really, really isn't. But anyway.

Back at the L-Pal, Magna starts throwing around ideas. Bren suggests a mobile internet café, but Stephanie makes a frowny face. Then he suggests "something that focuses on kids." Like a leash factory or free low-dose sedation. (Just kidding! Don't email me!) Bren complains in an interview that Magna lacks creativity, probably because all of its members have college degrees. Oh, please. Not everyone with a college degree is as boring as your lawyer ass, dude. You only think college people lack creativity because you've never been to a Drag Ball. Ultimately, the team starts talking about a roving massage business. Stephanie makes a frowny face again, insisting that she sees massages offered at the mall sometimes, and no one is ever getting one. I don't know how she did in college, but I think she got an A in Bitchface. And Bren really needs to wear a smaller bowtie than he currently is sporting, because this look is just making his head look teeny. Stephanie insists that she doesn't "see the average American getting massages." We then move to an Alex interview in which he says, basically, that Stephanie is a big old drag, and she makes everyone bummed out when she starts complaining about every idea they have and why it won't work. The rest of the team is happy with the massages, so they go forward with that. But as they look for a massage person to hire for the day, Stephanie continues to mutter that someone with a business of their own won't want to help them out for a day. Which is stupid, because even people who own their own businesses will take a freelance job if it comes up and it's lucrative. It's not like the masseuse is going to worry about the long-term threat to her business presented by a toy business that's in place for one day.

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Apprentice

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