Airstream Of Consciousness

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
Trailer for sale or rent

Kendra explains that Magna went looking for one central person they could hire who would supply all the services and things that they'd want to put in their rolling day spa. They wind up getting in touch with a lovely woman named Marie, whom Bren describes as "a one-stop shop" of spa services. They found her through her web site, making this by far the least exploitive story to ever begin, "Me and my friends, we found this massage lady on the internet." Bren, Alex, and Kendra go to the trailer warehouse, while Michael, Erin, and Stephanie are left behind to find a location and come up with marketing. Michael, goofing off as usual, tells the team they should market it as "Massage-A-Go-Go." And even though it's a completely lame, creaky expression that speaks of old-man porn and the racy appearance of petticoats, Michael manages to say it like he thinks it's all naughty and shit. Erin becomes totally the me of the scene for ten seconds when she says, "You're a pig-a-go-go." That is exactly what I would say, and I'm not too proud to admit it. There's an excellent chance I would also say "shut up-a-go-go." Erin goes on to complain in an interview that Michael doesn't even do anything productive to go with all of his crap -- he just jaws and acts like a jerk and pisses everyone off. He is so going to win, don't you think? As we go to commercial, Michael is still arguing for "Massage-A-Go-Go." Sigh.

This week's Trump motto is simply "Instinct." He tells us that all his best deals are made with his gut, essentially. Presumably, that includes the ones that have ended in spectacular bankruptcies, scandal, and divorce. We watch as he stands with Boyfriend Bill, telling some reporter that his new Chicago building (the one Boyfriend Bill is building all by himself, with just a bucket and a shovel) will be awesome and will make Chicago proud. The reporter embarrasses herself by acting excited. That was important. I'm so glad that was shown. More Trump self-promotion, please!

Net Worth is heading out for a look at its trailer as John reminds us of the task at hand -- the mobile business, blah blah. There is some obligatory ooh-ing and aah-ing (and when I say "obligatory," I mean in the contractual sense) over the Airstream and its hardwood floors and how awesome it is and how it's all they can do not to strip and make mad passionate love to the fixtures right this minute. Once they get a look inside, the team starts throwing out some ideas, one of which is lunchtime speed dating. Oy. The only thing that could make speed dating seem less enticing to me than it already is? Is doing it in a trailer. I mean, like the whole experience doesn't seem fleeting enough already. Tara then raises the specter of New York's plethora of unemployed actors, and the possibility of finding a casting director who would come out and meet with them for a fee. Angie seizes on this immediately, explaining to us that she used to be an actress. She did plays, and apparently even commercials. And this is where she wound up. Don't pursue acting, young people! Craig and his still-awesome 'fro look dubious. As Angie continues to sell, sell, sell this idea, Tana interviews that it was "very risky," but she wanted to -- you guessed it -- "think outside the box." Angie swears that if they choose the casting option, they'll have a line out the door by 8:00 in the morning when they open. That will be the line outside the box. It's all geometry, I'm telling you.

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