Team Arsenio
Some guy hand delivers a check from Jay Leno... for a measly five grand. Chris Rock also sent five grand. And Eddie Murphy gives a check for "damn" (or ten grand). George Lopez sends some pesos, Jay Leno gave another check (so fine... whatever). There's some dollars from Jimmy Kimmel as well. The comedians came out in force. Marco Andretti brought ten thousand. Do you think they'll run out of M names for that family at some point? Lisa wanted to donate money to Clay's charity, so she hired a drag queen to dress like her and give Clay 10 grand. Clay is totally touched by this. I can see Trump making a big deal of it.

Team Clay
Drag Lisa Lampanelli helps Clay officially open his even. People say "Let's All Play" about 100 times. My DVR conveniently freaks out and does this freeze frame thing of Clay hula hooping and spinning plates. It's like my own personal .GIF of him doing this in slow motion. Who knew technology could understand my odd tastes so well? Trump shows up at the carnival and marvels at Debbie's hula hooping abilities. His eyes are immediately drawn to that. Are these spinning plates somehow faked or really easy? Everyone is able to do them. It always looked way harder on variety shows. Aubrey (who planned the entire event single-handedly while having her ginormous hair styled) wants to personally make sure that Donald has a good time. Oh yeah, I'm sure she does. Clay's not happy that Aubrey takes over and pushes her way in.

Team Arsenio
Trump comes in, and Arsenio's first reaction is "I'll get Whoopi." When I think about what would make Donald Trump happy, Whoopi Goldberg isn't on the top of my list. But Arsenio's freaking out because it's show time, and they have to take down the curtain between the two parties. Arsenio is on stage doing stand-up and he hasn't done it in a decade, so he's nervous.

Now Adam Carolla, Debbie Gibson, Dee Snider, Paul Teutul Sr, Penn Jillette, Teresa Giudice, Lisa Lampanelli and Aubrey O'Day are brought into the theater. No one throws anything at Aubrey, so she should consider this a win. She looks like she may yet kill herself in this too-long animal print dress, though. She apologizes for the fact that she forgot that two wrongs don't make a right. Trump takes credit for Lisa's career resurgence. Clip show of Lisa's loud comments from the season. Lots of profanity. Obviously, she's the best. Why didn't she win? She laughs it off and says he should never invite a 50-year-old menopausal woman on the show. "At this point I need more hormone therapy than Chaz Bono." Cue Dayana's impression of Lisa crying. Then Trump makes Dayana awkwardly stand up. Lisa says it was a pretty great impression, and she can dish it out and take it, as she is the queen of roasts.