And the Winner Is…

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: B | Grade It Now!
Hall of Fame

Trump then talks about how Magic Johnson was happy with the exposure for his charity, and Ivanka was impressed that Arsenio made the ball throwing commercial work.

Onto Team Clay, where Trump lies that he loves Dee's song. Though Trump does seem to like the royalties. Ivanka wants to know why they picked certain songs, and Clay says he wanted songs that everyone could recognize and sing along to. Oh, Clay. I'm sure all the Claymates know all the words to your stalker anthem "Invisible." Again, Trump doesn't let Debbie talk. Does he hate her?

Now it is time to find out how much cash was raised (which isn't the only winning criteria, just part of it.) Arsenio's team raised $167,100 for the Magic Johnson foundation. He thanks his team. Donald reminds him that all this money goes to his charity, regardless of the outcome. Clay raised a total of $301,500. WOW. Never underestimate those Claymates, I guess.

Donald thanks all of the previously fired helpers, dismisses them and then frowns in a stern way. This leads to that same constipated face at the live show. Trump welcomes Arsenio and Clay to the stage. Trump wants to know if he's as tough as Simon Cowell. Clay says that Trump's knowledge for business is unparalleled. Trump's next question is asking Arsenio why he cried so much. And he tears up talking about his cousin who died of AIDS right before this show started.

Trump starts asking the former celebrities who should win. Dee chooses Clay. Lisa wants Clay to win, but for Arsenio to get a show. Debbie gets to talk (shocking) and she says he's on Team Clay because he was calm even when she was being annoying. Dayana picks Arsenio because she didn't like working with Clay. Teresa tries to play both sides, but picks Arsenio because she worked on his team.

Instead of jumping into a boardroom battle, we're "treated" to a performance by Clay Aiken and Arsenio Hall. What? Is Arsenio going to sing? Clay does "Lean on Me." It's fine, but I spend most of the time trying to figure out if Clay's hair is possibly worse than Trump's. Arsenio actually does sing come the second verse. I'd much prefer the two of them fighting instead of being all nice and crap.

We see a montage of Celebrity Apprentice winners past: Piers Morgan, Joan Rivers, Bret Michaels and John Rich. Who will join this esteemed group? And more importantly, who can I petition to get Bret Michaels to do another Rock of Love? I miss him so. It's Clay's turn to explain why he should join the ranks of Celebrity Apprentice. He thinks he came in as someone who was underestimated, and he surpassed all expectations. And he doesn't want to lose in front of his mother again. The fact that he lost as a project manager on one task doesn't matter as much, since he pulled it altogether for the final challenge (and won almost twice as much money as Arsenio). Trump loves the fact that Arsenio thinks that the Trump seal of approval would stay with him his whole life. Arsenio says that's not just lip service, that he credits people who help him along the way, and says that his future success would shine a light on Trump. That's not explaining what he did here to win, that's just blowing smoke up Trump's ass.

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