1. The Carolyn Kepcher Sunny Sunday Afternoon: One (1) fat blunt, and a plastic bottle of off-brand white rum (1 liter), with cherry-flavored cough syrup to taste
2. The Ruth Fisher Fucked My Legless Grandmother: One (1) handful of cat tranquilizers -- between four (4) and ten (10) tablets, to taste -- crushed into a fine powder and shaken into two (2) cups of chamomile tea, in a martini shaker
3. The Night Hateful Jim Kissed Me: Six (6) ounces of vodka, shaken with ice and dusted with three (3) 60-milligram capsules of common prescription ADD or ADHD medication (my ex posited that Ritalin abuse should be called "tasking," by the youth of our generation, as in "we were tasking hardcore")
4. The Spring Break Hootenanny: One (1) handful -- also referred to, in common parlance, as a "hootenanny" -- of peyote buttons
5. The Real Housewives Of Orange County: Five (5) pixie sticks, inhaled nasally, with a chaser of 500 micrograms of "Homer Simpson" lysergic acid
Trump's not impressed with Andrea's "shock," much less her negligible ability to maintain in the face of adversity -- he tells her it doesn't matter, because they'll "find out," if Synergy lost. Which is a good edit, because it reminds you this is just the "who lost" Boardroom, not even the real one, and Allie's already starting with the bloodbath. Junior explains that they stayed on Ellis Island basically, and made $843.40 for the charity. Trump asks Lee if he thinks GR beat them, and the whole room answers, "Duh."
Ivanka says they sold to the tourists, pointing out how they cleanly cornered a captive audience and thereby cut Synergy out of the task altogether. Which was -- admit it -- pretty sexy of them. Grand total for the charity? $1548.68. "Which is," she wonderfully points out with a Cheshire grin, "doubling Synergy's amount." Trump congratulates them, and what Lee says is, "About time, Mr. Trump!" but what he means is, "This show is a farce, just give me the job and call me messiah." Trump says that Ameriquest was "so impressed with both teams" -- and what he means is "horrified" -- that they're donating $10,000 in addition to the amounts raised. He tells them that GR will be playing golf with Trump and Vijay Singh, about whom Trump only hates that he's a good golfer. They also get a set of golf clubs. That's like telling me: "Congratulations! Herpes! And the sores that go with it!" But then, I'm not a businessperson.