Assault On Battery

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A | Grade It Now!
Lesson Nine: You Can't Bulk-Sell Bullshit

Everybody is super-intense for a second, and then they all stand. She thanks him, and Ivanka stares at them. Andrea hugs Sean and barely smiles at Tammy. She gets on the elevator, smiling and visibly upset. Aww. Back inside, Trump feels he did "the right thing," because the team "really disliked her." The kids agree and agree and agree with him, and Trump complains to Ivanka -- and she strongly agrees, and I do too, but not because I don't know better -- that if you told him "three weeks ago she'd be gone," he'd have been shocked, but now it makes sense. He leans back and congratulates the kids on doing a good job, and I want to hug all three of them suddenly. So weird.

Crazy Taxi of Introspection. Andrea calls it "a great experience," and seems to grasp this on-camera: "Maybe there's a reason I work for myself." She says that she should be flattered that the first time she's ever been fired, it was by Trump himself, which is only a little self-flattering, and she says she feels he does respect her. Which he does, and that's neat. "It's all right," she says, and wipes away a tear. Oh, man.

Okay, lessons learned: there's no percentage in keeping mum about your skills. Be a Charmaine, not an Andrea, and mention (without getting obnoxious) all the skills and benefits you bring to a task. That was the smartest thing Gold Rush did, that little meeting at the beginning. Just try to be honest about what you are best at, which implies a lot of work on yourself you should have already been doing. Andrea could have spent Day One designing a brilliant strategy for selling them in bulk, and would have had a lot better help than fucking Lee getting it off the ground. Instead, she was too interested -- just like every week -- in attacking her PM directly and trying to prove that she'd make a better PM. Which is the opposite of how you actually prove it. The best PMs are the best team support, and that's why Tammy's still around. Don't worry about flying under the radar or over it -- and do not fucking go all Lee and use every conversation to try to sell yourself as a superhero, because it's gay as hell -- just do the best you can. It really, honestly is that simple. Lead by example, sell yourself with effort and excellence, and you won't have to do a damn piece of PR for yourself, because it'll sell itself. Oh, and "Bring Your Kids To Work Day" is only cool after third grade if your kids are, like, magic. And don't cross Allie, because she and the forces of darkness are like this.

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