All through the episode, this annoying bumper keeps coming up all about "vote at home on who should be fired and you could win $10K" and they call it "Get Rich With Trump!" So it's less of an "interactive" deal like they told us pre-season, and more of an informal poll-slash-sweepstakes. By the end of the broadcast, they'll announce the person with the most anti-votes, and also the person who won the ten grand.
Trump and Ivanka and creepy Donald Jr. hang out with creepier Ameriquest guy, and Trump's like, "Tell me all about it!" and the guy says that Ameriquest is doing great, but like, when is that not true? Trump welcomes the Apprenti, and tells Lee he "barely escaped last night" and that it was "a lot closer" than Lee would "probably think." Lee informs Trump that it actually wasn't that close, and that Trump is wrong and Lee is right. Whatever. Trump introduces his kids, his "true Apprenti," and mentions that they both graduated Wharton. He makes a lame joke about how they need to do a good job as Viceroys, because they "know who [they] report to," and everybody laughs nervously, especially the kids, because can you imagine if Trump was your dad every single day? You'd love him -- he's lovable -- but you'd end up with some kind of eye-rolling tic that would make you look deranged. Maybe that's why his kids all have those unmoving death masks whenever they're not talking. Also, Junior has the toad pout, and it's just as awful on him as on his dad, and I think that's the only reason I don't like him as much as Ivanka, because I don't have a problem with any of the stuff he says. I do feel bad about saying he smelled like roofies or whatever last season.
Trump International Hotel and Tower, Trump says. Praised by "Condie Nest," he says. Andrea smiles quietly to herself. "Ellis Island is hallowed ground," he says. We don't immediately cut to Sean, which for this show is something like saintly forbearance. The people that came to Ellis Island had "the American Dream," and there's a company that had "the American Dream," and that company is...Ameriquest. Nicely done. I'm sure that there are many parallels to be drawn between desperate, hopeful, strong, determined refugees and a predatory lending company, if you put your mind to it. The Ameriquest dude, incidentally, looks oily and tattooed and gross, but never grosser than when he says that Ameriquest is "the proud sponsor of the American Dream." Thanks, Ameriquest. One question: where did you put it? He says being involved in a tertiary and barely on-camera manner with the concept of Ellis Island is an honor. So gross on so many levels. The task: take boats to Ellis Island and take some pictures, then create a souvenir tourist program in a "limited edition" for the National Park there, and sell them on Day 2 to benefit the monument and park. The team to get the most money total for the park wins. Trump begs, begs, begs Gold Rush to stop sucking, and they promise to try.