Carolyn digests: "If there is sex in the workplace, handle it with class." Cut to Trump looking like an utter troll -- an actual, literal, dwelling-under-bridges goddamn troll -- on muscle relaxants. God, I hate looking at his face. Everybody jumps in to try and explain more fully, which is always a sign of a concise, marketable concept, and Trump blurts, "I've never heard of classy sex in the workplace, that's all " and George giggles. So does Markus, which gets Trump's attention. "Tell me what's going on with this team?" That's...gotta be a joke, Mr. Trump. You're asking for pain. Markus's response: "Um...[silence]...where do I begin...[silence]...um." He taps his fingers and Trump gets bored and rephrases: "Who caused the loss?" Markus thinks it was Clay, that he "exposed homosexuality as an issue that to me it was " Clay is flabbergasted, and frankly so am I, because I think he's right, but you gotta be some brainless kind of mother to say it like that. He somewhat clarifies that he thought it was "a bit much for the crowd," and Clay's weird about that, but of course, if he had any idea that anyone on earth might be put off by that, he wouldn't have said it, right? He's not so unable to assume responsibility that he would paint it as their problem, would he?
Trump -- and I can't get a read on him here -- is either unimpressed, horrified, or bored as he asks whether this is true. Clay sputters, and Alla blurts, "He kept talking about slapping the ass!" It's the accent that makes it funny.
Trump goes fucking freaky nuts now: "Are you a homosexual, Clay?" Clay smiles, "I am, yes, Mr. Trump, I am." I start laughing because first of all, I'm shocked he didn't append his usual " and I'm not afraid to say so," but also because every time somebody says that, Chris from Season Three does twenty lat pulls and watches the one straight porno he owns, then downs a Red Bull and vodka and heads off to Hooter's. Trump gets queasily into the whole gay thing, interrogating everyone in the room about whether or not they knew Clay was gay. Only the deaf-mute in the corner is even a little shocked. "Markus? Did you know? Did everybody know this? I didn't know " He seems lost and weirded out and generally goes all Steve Carell. Carolyn laughs openly. Trump's not done. "So you don't find Alla very attractive, then?" Clay -- effed-up social skills intact -- gives a very assertive "No!" Then, a beat later, " Uh, I mean, she's a beautiful woman " And Trump's all, "Felisha?" He's like, "Dude, they're beautiful women, but they're not my thing." Trump has admittedly been leading me to believe he's being just a tad bit disingenuous here -- "What is this gay you speak of? Is it a Texas thing? What do they like to watch on TV? Do you like ice cream at all? Do you enjoy sports?" -- and he goes for broke. "Okay, all right. That's why they have menus in restaurants, you know? I like steak, somebody else likes spaghetti. That's why they have menus in restaurants." It's the last one that makes me think he actually has just been cold-cocked by this turn of events. Felisha starts giggling due to this powerfully wrong and hilarious turn of events. I'm like, girl, you don't even know! Alla just shakes her head disbelievingly, mortified and gleeful at once. It's such a slam-dunk home-run of awkwardness. And it's just beginning!