Apprentice
Apprentice

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | 546 USERS: B-
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Lesson Seven: If You Can't Say Anything Well…

What response can Markus have, besides explaining a few things to Alla? Who can blame him for taking an incredibly condescending tone with his "You know something, Alla?" Or, indeed, for pronouncing it like "You Can Call Me Al"-la? Who can blame him -- now that Adam has whisked him out of the room before somebody starts swinging at his horrible ass -- for immediately interrupting his Project Manager to demand that Adam "listen to him," even though that's all anyone has been doing since Markus's days in Jams and the hat with the flaps on the back. He is so totally snooteriffic about "Listen to me, Adam, if you don't listen to me I can't tell you anything," which: zero sum, because if you do listen to him, same deal, and then he starts in with this "Let me tell you about my concept, okay," which is a brilliant way of demonstrating that he still doesn't get it. Any of it. Categorically. Adam loses no cool whatsoever, which is awesome, because he quickly gets Markus off that track: "You're brilliant [maybe] and creative [maybe] and I need you focused on the task [never gonna happen]." Markus is aghast: "But I completely am!" And he is. Completely focused on the task, I mean. It's just not the task Adam's talking about.

Adam tells us privately that Markus is way more enjoyable when you're not PM, because you can just sit back and watch him pants around all day. That's not such a terrible thing to say, although all in all, I prefer Josh's equal-opportunity frustration with Markus's ability to ruin everything, because it implies some kind of investment in the task. "When I'm Project Manager, unless you're adding value, we need to move on." But when I'm not Project Manager, hand me a mic.

The brainstorming continues, among the brains that aren't in a low-pressure asshole system. Alla's all about things like "Business After Hours" and "How To Socialize With Your Co-Workers." This last is underscored by a shot of Markus, sitting as far away from everyone else as possible, and Adam, looking dorky and at a loss. Felisha offers "Business Etiquette," and Alla likes it. Clay wants a catchy title, and Alla offers "Sex In The Office." The Bloven, including Honorary (But Temporary) Member Clay, go wild. Adam pees himself a little. "I don't feel comfortable, as PM, having the word 'sex' [involved], personally."

Apprentice

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