Apprentice
Back To School

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Lesson Seven: If You Can't Say Anything Well…

There are delicious and well-resented snacks at Michael Kors, and then his horrible self welcomes them in. Marshawn tells us how he's "one of the best designers in the country, the world even," which he is, and then marvels how only "Janet Jackson and Britney Spears get the stores closed down for them!" But not Oprah! yells everybody not employed by Hermes Intl., and then Michael Kors tells them that Trump said they did a great job "talking about getting noticed," and how it's funny because that's what he does all day, "get people noticed, in the right way." Then everybody goes nuts, especially Marshawn, all yelling, "I need a fabulous white suit!" and "Doesn't this look like me?" and grabbing things adorably. She tells us that she couldn't focus: "There were too many clothes! Too many pretty outfits for me to try on!" She looks crazed and it's wonderful and adorable, and it's so nice to see her being a human being instead of just there, because her personality has not really come out thus far, beyond being upright and cool in the Boardroom and on tasks, and being intelligently critical in her interviews, and it turns out her personality is just as good.

Rebecca, in her customary black, says she's going to "push the boundaries" and "try on things [she] wouldn't normally try on." I love how even a shopping spree brings out her weird intensity and "I look at this as a challenge" stuff. I bet she runs marathons. She's totally a runner. She tries on hideous white space pants, as I said earlier this week, and then a weird, dark, mid-thigh dress with a plunging neckline and dramatic bell sleeves that makes her look somehow exactly like Posh Beckham, which isn't a resemblance I'd noticed before, and it's weird to see her in non-business clothes, because she's gorgeous and sexy but it still gives the mind-bending impression you get from, like, a goat in a dress, or a Tiffany lamp driving a car or doing laps in a swimming pool, or those awful Wegman portraits with the Weimaraners. I don't mean she looks bad, she looks great, I think it's just more that I've not seen her dressed like this. Like Trump with Carolyn earlier, even though I'm sure it's not the first time they've seen her dressed like that. Kors tells her it looks "amazing" on her, and then is funny about how it would look even better without the leg cast, and maybe if she had a tan.

Randal is packing some guns in the fitting room, and tells us how winning "feels great" no matter what, but that being a "two-time winner" as PM "adds a little extra spice." He comes out in a white suit and pink-pinstripe-patterned shirt and pale pink solid tie, and looks like a billion bucks. Everybody freaks out on how nice he looks. Brian looks gorgeous from the neck up and adorable from the neck down in a little boy's sweater ensemble. Rebecca is very vocal about how much she loves everyone's outfits. Marshawn tells us how wonderful it is to find herself shopping, and it's appropriately ga-ga, the way she says this, and then comes out in a crazy hot flattering black dress with a crazy glimmering medallion at the neckline. Walking home with their bags, Randal nudges Marshawn about how fun that was, and she's like, "AND we don't have to go to the Boardroom?" They all laugh.

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Apprentice

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