Back To School

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Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Lesson Seven: If You Can't Say Anything Well…

Next morning, now that we've learned a few things, Adam speaks very, very quietly and softly. We watch him put on a pink tie really, really slowly, then untie it and start over again. He's precise and youthful, I think is the point. He tells us excitedly that he got to stay up "until midnight!" and then informs us that the "consensus" is that he'll be the next Excel Project Manager. I think it's less a random "consensus" and more "sacrificial lamb" kind of situation, but whatever. I feel like he'll do a good job, and not in that insecure "follow my every order!" kind of way. He feels good about it -- and weirdly looks exactly like Will Truman for a second -- because he's had the opportunity to assess everyone's talents. This during all those tasks where I literally don't remember him being there at all, I guess. Except for the singing. My God, the singing. By having a plan to properly utilize those resources, he feels he'll be successful no matter the task. You say to yourself, "As long as it doesn't involve picking up chicks or anything to do with sex," right? And you're absolutely correct, unfortunately.

Over at Past Apprentice Kelly's building project at Trump Place, Trump makes wooden conversation about how it's going, and how Kelly must be learning a lot from George, and how this year's Apprentices may or may not be "Kellies," which is funny, because didn't Trump just up and say the whole cast of candidates were the best he'd ever seen? Trumpian hyperbole -- it'll bite you in the ass, but only if you're aware of things happening from moment to moment, which is why the Trumps and the Melissas and the Omarosas will always win, and the non-crazy will always, always lose.

Marshawn opens the door for Rebecca and everyone looks gloomy, because: what if the whole venture went under overnight, or Jenthura's firing has twisted Trump's mind so badly that he's going to chase the remainder of the cast through the ruins with a machine gun? Or what if there's been some kind of switcheroo and they're all fired except Josh, James, Jenthura, and Mark, who are all in an even better tower somewhere even better, eating better food and laughing, and Kristi has somehow won, and Trump's pregnant with Jenthura's baby? When you're dealing with Trump, things don't have to make sense.

Trump informs the ruins of Excel that their team was "decimated," and Marshawn confirms with a shy smile that this means none of them are coming back. Rebecca gets scary intense and Brian begins to weep. He interviews that he is shocked, that the firings hit him "emotionally and mentally," and apparently physically, and that "personally," this is a "devastating blow." Brian, make me root for you, starting now, please. Thanks. Trump gives Excel the choice to even out the numbers again, and they (after conferring) immediately choose Randal, again, so he's back on Excel for at least the week. Brian stops crying long enough to allow as how Randal, besides being the presumptive Apprentice, has analytical skills and is "an extremely smart, all-around good player." Randal bends down -- way, way down -- to hug Brian, and it's comical but mostly sweet, because it's Randal.

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