Apprentice
Back To School

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Lesson Seven: If You Can't Say Anything Well…

Adam interviews that Markus was given several different responsibilities, but "never executed any results." He thinks that if they lose, it will be Markus's butt on the line. You'd think that, wouldn't you? He's gone from being merely worthless to aggressively, violently worthless. If it were just that he were a dork and incapable of linear thought, that wouldn't be so bad, but he's just so damn...self-righteous about it. No matter how much abuse he has gotten, and I suppose most people would say he's entitled to feel badly about that, he still refuses to offer anything else, and gets really pissed when you point that out. Walking back to join the group, Markus fnur fnurs that he's "glad we had this chance to talk," which is awesome because it means Adam fooled him into thinking they actually had a conversation, which Adam is proving really good at doing. Not that he should have to, and certainly not that he should have to often.

Trump Wisdom for this week is: "Get To The Point." I'm still smarting from the whole "take the leash off" conversation, so I'm like, "I hear ya!" Trump tells us about how he doesn't like to waste time in meetings, he likes to be "quick," "short," and "to the point," and that he doesn't "play games." This seems innocuous, but since I've already seen the episode, this part makes me almost vomit. He yells at this client on speakerphone about the terms of the contract, and two execs watch from the chairs formerly occupied by Miss Universe and Fake Linda Tripp. This week it's two dudes, one of whom has a Rohypnol vibe and looks like he works at Pacey's brokerage, and the other looks like a misplaced person from Monty Python who is now a homeless drunk. It's boring as hell and contains no wisdom, but at least it's short, quick, and to the point.

Rebecca, on crutches, welcomes the guests, while her partner in bitching about this task, Brian, passes out workbooks. I love how obviously not their show it is. Marshawn tests the mics and then tells us in interview that she doesn't believe in luck but has her fingers crossed nonetheless. Like you need this "luck" thing when you're on a team with Randal and yourself, Marshawn. Or when your opponents include Useless Markus, Critical Clay, Pointless Felisha, and the Maiden Adam. George enters, and Randal is perfectly charming, telling them to let their light shine and amplify it. His smile makes tiny birds and angels fly out of the television and dress your Christmas tree for you. George interviews that Randal's totally great, even though the boring subject matter is "lacking." ["I think my man George has a non-sexual man crush on Randal." -- Sars] Randal starts with a PowerPoint presentation outlining the whole workshop, but interviews it for us prop-free. Section one is a questionnaire about your personal communication style, the second part is a lecture on "bold and assertive communication" -- we see Marshawn talking about "vocal dynamics" -- and the third part is breaking the class into "core groups" for activities and exercises. This is so awesome because it's what Marshawn does every day of her life, and it's incredibly relaxing to see somebody do something well on this show. Like, before this, I really enjoyed the very shiny ball that Josh spray-painted for Zathura, and that was about it as far as excellence. Oh, and the permission thing for Lamborghini. I liked that too, except for the embarrassing presentation.

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Apprentice

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